Today Again

Did I tell you?

2011-08-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

Our oldest daughter got married? In June? Well, she did. :-)

She was beautiful. She is beautiful. And now, I have a son-in-law. Weird. :P

FO Nathair Mitts

2011-07-31T11:12:00.003-05:00

Can you see the picture? I hope so. I am coming in and testing photo uploading via Android phone.

It seems since I have gotten this phone many websites have "updated" their compatibility with this phone. Or my phone has updated it's compatibility. Either way, it would make blogging more interesting again if I can share pictures. :)

This is a photo of my Flower, almost 5 years old, modeling a pair of Nathair Mitts that I knit for a commission. I was paid for the knitting with yarn...which is awesome. This pair of mitts is knit out of Malabrigo worsted in Forest. Not my favorite colorway, but they were a delight to knit and deliciously soft.

I have knit this pattern a few more times and I love it. The cabling makes them look elegant and complicated with minimal effort if you can cable without a cable needle.

I knit the first pair (in this picture) to the letter of the pattern. I have modified it only slightly for the next pairs. In the photos on the pattern, it is obvious the ribbing is twisted rib, so I have changed that and the look is better. I also moved the thumb over one stitch from the center panel. This keeps the panel more centered on the hand when the mitts are in use. (As written, the panel is centered GREAT as long as you keep your thumbs outstretched to the sides of your hand at all times. Not so much if you grab a steering wheel or move you thumbs at all.) I tried moving it over 3 stitches at first and that was too many. Also, when I knit them *again* (and I will knit them again) for ME, I will lengthen them too.

Overall a great pattern. Well written and worth the price. (I think it's only 2 or 3 dollars. It was gifted to me by the commissioner of the first pair so I am not totally sure.)

Random comeback post 3

2011-07-22T09:57:00.002-05:00

Today we are watching the Lion King. Can you believe my kids have only seen this one time? It's amazing when they are watching something brand new. They are quiet, except when asking questions of course. "Is that the mommy lion?" "Look Mama, it's a baby!" "Is that the bad guy Lion?" "Look at that monkey!" "Is that the good lion?" My kids are so cute, if I do say so myself.

This morning, I also have a smurf baby. She loves blueberries and we tend to have the frozen variety. Once thawed, There is quite a lot of blueberry watery goodness to spread around. Sometimes I wonder why I bathe them at all......

The 11 year old....oh how I love him. He is currently on a mission to find the lid to a Tupperware cereal container. He is *angry*. He has looked in 1 place and it's not there so he should BE DONE. But, **I** insist he use his powers of -reasoning- (he has them, even if he doesn't want to nlbelieve it) and KEEP LOOKING throughout the kitchen. I am just soooooo mean. Lol.

He can be awfully sweet too. The other night there was a.magical "homeschool paycheck" moment here. I was trying to get the house tidied up (and by trying, I mean knitting and staring at the mess *thinking* about how I *should* tidy up). I looked over and there was the Wobbers, with a toddler, an almost kindergartner, and a baby, all huddled in his lap intently listening to the story he was reading aloud to them. ::swoon:: I love watching my children in impromptu moments like that.

Did you hear me say, "almost a kindergartner"? Did you hear the shaking in my voice? She's almost 5. I am going to be completely responsible for teaching a child to read, write and all that other stuff. I purchase some good reading material when the tax refund came in - Sonlight P4/5 curriculum. I hope she loves it as much as I have loved perusing it. I am sure the 3 year old will love the books too. Wobbs was a little jealous that his books weren't as "cool" as the little kid books.

Hello again!

2011-07-18T11:03:00.002-05:00

Two days in a row! Will it never end?!

My baby girl is 10 months old today. She is so different from her siblings and fits so well in our family.

She just learned how to crawl up onto the ottoman in front of my chair yesterday. I will never have an empty lap, even for a few moments, again! She walks all over the place holding onto furniture. She hops along the ground using her arms to pull her along and one leg to push. The other leg in un-involved in her "crawling". Lol.

She loves to play with Flower and Lovey. She wants to do whatever her big sister is doing. She is always trying to get the Barbies, and her face lights up when she actually finds one unattended that she can get (before Flower figures it out).

These children are growing too fast for me!!! In the next two months, they will turn 5, 3, and 1. Wow. And Wobbers is 11.

And....it's an odd number year. That would make this the "get pregnant" year, if history repeats itself. I have mixed feelings about this. Some days I am so overwhelmed at 3 kids under the age of 4.....can't imagine 4 kids under the age of 5 or 6. And then I look at the joy on their faces, and the beautiful tender moments we share together and I can't imagine not adding to that. God will work it all out, I know. (I still am going to hate being pregnant, because it just sucks, lol.) I don't know if we are gong to be discerning pregnancy or not pregnancy, or what we're going to to. I know that December is "the" month, so I suppose I am good for now.

What are you guys up to?? I am going to go peek back out into bloggy land today and see what's happening. I stopped by Abigail's Alcove the other day and saw they got a house!!! Which is a wonderful blessing and so amazing. Now I have to read back through her archives to see how that happened. :)

Is this thing still on?

2011-07-18T02:14:00.003-05:00

I have been knitting. And living. This android phone thing has upped my access to Ravelry and thus, the blog kind of died.

I have felt sad ignoring the blog. I don't think I'll be able to do any pictures. Maybe I can try slurping them from the web.

I have ignored many of my bloggy friends too. I am sorry.

I started swapping yarn on Ravelry. It is fun and I Have found a group of ladies there who are pretty cool. A friend of mine on the boards lost her husband last week. I told her to start a blog, which got me thinking about mine.

You can find me on Ravelry. Same username......

Later

Operation Diaper Covers

2011-03-27T08:54:00.002-05:00

Title blatantly stolen from my friend Shelly at Wool and Chocolate..... I have a small admission to make. I have not been using wool on my baby. There. I said it. Yes, she has been wearing wooly tops, hats, boots, and pants. But I have not been using said longies as diaper covers. Why? Well, I got lazy. PUL is sooooo much "easier" to deal with. No damp feeling. No lanolizing. Everything goes in the wash. I've been putting longies over the PUL to keep her warm. It's still dang cute. But it has come to bite me in the @$$. Or rather, it has gotten Rose on the legs. Her legs have a nice, scaly rash all over where the diaper wraps have been rubbing. It was just a little bit. But now it has fully encompassed each thigh. It's obvious what it's from and it cannot be ignored any more. Back to wool. In an interesting twist.....I do not have enough wool knit up in the correct size for diaper cover use. So, I am knitting like mad. I have planned and started some scrappy longies, made from some Paton's and my own handdyed WoTA and Fisherman's wool. I hope they are really, really cute. I also am like this close to buying the Sheepy Skirty Pattern. The other Sheepy Time Knits patterns are around $6.....but this one is $12. Twelve. So, I am hesitant. I mean, I know how to knit a soaker. Attaching a skirt cannot be THAT hard, right? Although, in an effort to not have to think much, having a pattern is nice. But really, it's knitting. I can get through a skirt (read "tube of fabric flaring or pleating to the other end) without a pattern, right? Then I start thinking "Do I even want her to wear a skirt at this point?", because diaper soaker/skirts tend to be on the short side. So, yeah. It's complicated. Oh - and all that Malabrigo I have for scrappies? I think it's going to be a Tomten Jacket. So, no pants from those for now. And switching back gears again - I think I should at some point knit some shorties. I mean, AT SOME POINT, spring/summer has to show up. Right? Right? It can't stay COLD AND SNOWY forever, can it? Seriously. There was a day last week where it was 60. 6-0 (F). And then, there was a thunderstorm that resulted in 4 inches of snow. A thunderstorm. I am not kidding. And now it's below freezing again. Sheesh. Oh, yeah. You want pictures. Um, I am working on that. Really, I am. Sorry none today. :(

Moving Right Along

2011-03-21T10:54:00.002-05:00

I am trucking right on my Tomten Jacket. I love this design. Another thumbs up for Elizabeth. I should be starting the hood today. Isaac's birthday isn't until the end of April, so I am good on time. This jacket is so cute I will definitely go the the library so I can upload a photo when it's done.

~Oh. And our March choices for the yarn club are in. To die for. I am trying to decide how much I want (I already figured out which color I want).

Knitting Geekiness (yes, that is a word)

2011-03-18T21:46:00.002-05:00

I am über-excited tonight.

I bought a new fabric shaver.

I plan on shaving pills off my woolies for hours on end tonight!

If you don't knit, you wont get it.

I try to smile......

2011-03-17T18:28:00.001-05:00

when, as I am washing dishes, my toddler picks clean dishes out of the rack and places them back in the water in the sink.

Thanks buddy.

The Problem With Socks

2011-03-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

I like sock yarn. I like socks. I like knitting socks. I like heels and toes and all the different ways you can knit them. (I am learning the short-row heel right now, pics later this week if I can.)

The problem?

The intense let down when said sock does not fit right.

It seems like I just can't win. I even tried knitting little baby socks for Rose. The sock just isn't right. I always seem to mess up the foot length and end up ripping back the toe like 5 or 6 times. Or the leg is too tight and the ankle too loose. And how the #%&@ do you do calf shaping (or any kind of.paired decreases in 2x2 rib?!

Anyhow. I really do like knitting socks. I just wish I could get a comfortable and well fitting finished object from it.

Some Random Thoughts Floating Around In My Head

2011-03-12T22:30:00.003-06:00

~God made 11 year olds to give us the opportunity to practice patience.

Or to bring us closer to Him in our suffering. I haven't decided yet.

~I am sick of sleeping with my 2 year old. He is disruptive at night. It is annoying. I am an attachment parent at heart, so I am not really sure what to do about this and I also feel a little guilty for saying it.

On the bright side, my annoyance paid off tonight and everyone was asleep and in the(ir) bed(s) at a normal hour: 2 year old at 8 and the 4 year old at 9. Feels good.

~If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I hate HATE Daylight Savings Time. I will spare you my semi-annual rant and instead share a good joke I saw about DST on Facebook:

I was talking with an old indian about the reasons for Daylight Savings Time. He thought for a moment and replied, "Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it on the bottom, and have a longer blanket."

Brilliant.

~Cleaning the house is much easier if you (a) have a schedule and (b) treat it like a job.

A schedule means I don't have to worry everyday about vacuuming. I can worry about it on Tuesday because that is when I will vacuum (unless an entire box of cereal gets dumped on the floor, then I'll vacuum today). It also means the crappiest job of the week gets done on Monday - the bathroom. Oh how I loathe cleaning the bathroom.

Which brings me to point (b). If I want the house to get clean I have to treat it like I would if I were employed and had a supervisor. Only, my supervisor is God because I don't see anybody else around here holding me accountable. It is easy to get, I don't want to say lazy because that's not true, but distracted would be true. There is no one hanging over my shoulder all day to make sure I Get Things Done. Now, when I'm not getting things done, I am not eating bon bons and getting a massage. Generally me being distracted involves nursing the baby and getting stuck under said sleeping baby while being forced to watch "Barbie Mermaidia" on repeat for a few hours while I demand reheated leftovers from my 11 year old because I am starving trying to tandem nurse all day.

If you're wondering what brought on my thoughts for cleaning......it was my husband nicely asking me when the last time I vacuumed was and why he is always doing the laundry on his nights off. (I am still letting him do the laundry sometimes.)

And for kicks......here's my cleaning schedule:

Monday: Bathroom (counter, sink, tub, toilet, floor, wash rugs)
Tuesday: Vacuum and swifter upstairs (living/dining room, bedrooms)
Wednesday: Kitchen Floor (scrub)
Thursday: wash kitchen rugs
Friday: Vacuum downstairs (TV room, woodstove area)
Saturday: Vacuum stairs and entryway (husband or the boy does this)
Sunday: Laundry catch up day

These are just the "big" things. Stuff like laundry, dishes, kitchen counters, etc get done (I'd like to believe) everyday.

I suppose that could have been its own post.

~I am part of the Reductio Sock swap again on Ravelry. I have knit my mini sock but still need to knit another mini item. This round's theme is Ministry of Magic. I am stuck. Any ideas?

~I finally got the right size needles to knit my club yarn and started a hat for Rose. Because it's March. In Wisconsin. And its cold. At least, I am telling myself that even though I should probably just wait and knit it for next year.

~I think I might be able to use this android phone as a modem after all. There is an app on the phone called "wireless.modem". It has directions to use it. I am going to give it a go this week and see if I can load some photos onto Ye Olde Blog.

Celebrities on Ravelry

2011-03-07T22:47:00.005-06:00

I haven't posted in a while. This touch screen keyboard is not as comforting to type on as a real keyboard. I love the click-clickety sound of the keys as I speed along able to type as fast as I can think. With this thing it's all thumbs and auto-correct and, well, it doesn't encourage me to blog. But because I love all of you soooo (auto correct there turned my soooo into Solo then sloop, wtf?) much and love reading your blogs, here I am.

Oh. Was I supposed to actually discuss my title?

Yes. Celebrities on Ravelry. I have been meaning to posy about this. Warning, I am using all caps here because it's just that exciting and cool.

MEG SWANSON TALKED TO ME ON RAVELRY. WHEN I FRIENDED HER SHE FRIENDED ME BACK. I AM FRIENDS WITH MEG SWANSON! REALLY! MEG SWANSON TALKED TO ME IN A FORUM ON RAVELRY! I KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!

Ok. Seriously though, it was soo cool I almost peed my pants. I am sure I embarrassed her because I couldn't help but shout out to her about how great it is to see real knitting legends interacting with us regular folk and the fact the she really is just nice regular folk too. (If you are a knitter and you don't know who Meg Swanson is.....well.....I just can't help you.)

I keep thinking one year I'd like to go to Knitting Camp. I can't link to it but you can find details on the Schoolhouse Press website. It is actually geographically not a difficult place for me to get to. And I'd get TO MEET MEG SWANSON FOR REALZ. Sorry, giddy excitement got the best of me again. I hear at Knitting Camp they have actual garments that EZ and Meg have knit out for you to see, touch, and feel - no armored guards around or anything, right out in the open. Wow.

Yes. I am a geek. I am ok with this.

So that is my little bit of knitting celebrity stuff.

In other knitting news: the Tomten Jacket was knitting up too loose and too large. After completing appx. half of it, I frogged the whole thing and started over. I changed from size US 5 (3.75mm, I think) to US 3 (3.25mm). Much better. Yes, I am a very relaxed knitter.

I also never posted about getting my February yarn shipment, or at least never posted pictures. I can't do pictures now, but the yarn is nice. I thought it would be more of a worsted weight, but it is definitely heavier, aran weight for sure (just like Mandie (yarn pusher) said it was, duh). It is a beautiful deep saturated purple color with a little magenta called "Grapes of Wrath" on a base called "Fleckity" which is 1 strand of superwash plied with 2 strands of non-superwash. Very interesting. (If I already blogged about this, I apologize for the redundancy.) I actually had to buy some needles in order to knit with it. The size 6 needles were giving me a far too dense fabric (and those are HUGE for me to knit with, I am used to smaller gauge needles and worsted weight yarn, my standard needle is a 5) and the size 8 needles are far too flimsy fabric. So I stopped by JoAnns after grocery shopping and ran in for some 7s, a size I was sure I would never need to own. They only had straights (bleh) or double points in 7s, so I bought the double points. I really wanted a 16 inch circular but I must have seen those at Michael's. The plan is to knit a gnomey hat and pullover for Rose.

I will get the hang of this phone and hopefully post more.

Onward knitting.

Wake Up New Technology

2011-02-28T17:06:00.002-06:00

Well. The charging port on that old phone *did* break. A repair was $300. A new phone was less than half of that. So here I am on an Android phone. Who knew that super advanced blackberry was obsolete? Certainly not me.

I am adjusting to this new technology. It is strange. I cannot figure out how to load picture from my phone either here or on ravelry. I also cannot tether this phone to my laptop unless I want to pay extra. So no pics for a while. :(

But - it's like a whole new internet! The browser applicaition on this thing pulls up the while, real internet pages/website(s). For many of the blogs I read this means I feel like I am seeing them for the first time. It's pretty cool. I can even get on ravelry From My Phone. Really. And yes, that wasted a lot of time the other night when I should have been knitting.

I am also learning this new touch screen thing. Also weird. But OK. It has auto correct. Some of the words it picks out to correct and replace are hilarious. On ravelry today I typed "longies" and it correctes it once to linties and once to loonies. Hahaha.

I also can pull up the comment pages on all of my favorite blogger blogs now! I am sure that has to do with Google owning the Android market. :) I love being able to comment and not lurk. So if you are all of a sudden hearing from me it's because of this phone.

Hopefully, I will be a able to make minor changes to the layout and blogroll without to many problems.

Knitting Retreat

2011-02-24T07:00:00.000-06:00

Or, "What I did this weekend."

I visited my knitting buddy. If you remember she now lives 3 hours north of me. We have made a pact to visit each other every other month. In October, I drove to her place. In December, she drove here. And, being February, I drove to her place again. Of course, I should say that my husband drove me there since the whole family went and her whole family comes here too.

We had a fabulous visit. Our 4 year old daughters have known each other since they were born and miss each other terribly throughout our times apart, which is ya know always except for the 1 Saturday every other month. The kids (ok, her kid so far) write each other letters and send pictures in between and always ask when we are going to visit.

I brought an entire bin of yarn and knitting paraphernalia to her house. Yes, a big rubbermaid type storage bin. Yes, just for a one day visit. No, that's not weird.

I had Malabrigo scraps to share and divide up, yarn to wind, and projects to share.

Can I just say it is sooooo wonderful to have a knitting buddy. It's nice for when you are trying to match up yarns to patterns, see if a certain pattern even fits a yarn, or if the gauge seems appropriate or not. It helps when you have projects that are ho-hum or you don't know quite what you feel about them or just want some general input to improve, or knit on, or whatever.

A few things happened with some of my WIP over this weekend and also for future projects.

After joint counseling with my knitting buddy, my Effortless Cardigan has been put on time out. I was thinking the gauges was a little tight on US size 3 needles (3.25mm) and she agreed. I had brought an extra skein of the lovely yarn, so we wound it up. I am going to restart this project on size 4 needles (3.5) and see how I like it then. I am not frogging the size 3 since it is already to the armholes. I am just going to knit a new one and then compare and frog the one that isn't right.

The February Lady Sweater has been frogged. Really, it was too small. How do I know this? Well, she measured me and then to confirm I tried it on. I was knitting a chest size 41. My chest is, in fact, 50 (!) inches around. No wonder it was small. I do not own enough yarn to go up to that size (only 5 skeins, looks like it needs about 7 to do that size). I also don't love the yarn color. I do love the yarn, Malabrigo Worsted, but the color is kind of ho-hum. I now have 5 skeins of this yarn to do something with. I think I might put four of them up for sale on ravelry and keep one for scraps, etc. Unless anyone wants to trade something, especially anyone on a stash diet?

We wound yarn. We petted yarn. We loved the yarn. I brought my two shipments from the Speshul Snowflakes Yarn Club for her to see and touch. She thinks the DK is also quite lovely. nice taste.

We both are going to be working up scrappy Tomten Jackets in Malabrigo.

I have suddenly run out of things to discuss. Weird how that happens.

I just love, love, love seeing her and sharing this craft, and kids, and homeschooling stuff.

Oh! That's it.

Have any of you used Sonlight Curicculum? What did you think of it's style? Cost? Were you able to use it with multiple children? Did you buy the books or get them from the library?

I hope you are all having a great time knitting.

WIP Wednesday

2011-02-23T16:23:00.005-06:00

And what of knitting? A lot, if I do say so myself. I am currently knitting a Tomten Jacket, by Elizabeth Zimmermann, from Knitting Without Tears and The Opinionated Knitter (apparently it is also in numerous other Schoolhouse Press publications). The jacket has slightly different directions in each book. The jacket is a 2T-ish sized, modular jacket as written. But, of course, if you know EZ, you know there is always the possibility to change the size either by gauge, needle size, or both.

I am knitting this for my Godson, Isaac, whose birthday is in April. I imagine I'll have it done before then, but I wanted to start early just to be sure.

I have tried some of EZ's garter-stitch baby patterns before, like the BSJ, and they have not been my favorite. However, I am Loving This Pattern. Maybe it's also that I love the yarn. It is Cascade 220 Superwash Paints, in color 9862 (varigated) and 9949 (semi-solid blue). The colors are very, very hard to photograph. The varigated is a neon-yellow/blue/teal/blue-violet and the blue is a warm, soft, lovely blue. The gauge seems to be a little different that Cascade 220 (non-superwash) so it is knitting up slightly looser than I had planned. A quick web search shows that the manufacturer recently changed the recommended gauge, so there you go. I am not ripping back now.

I think this first picture captures the blue perfectly.

My knitting buddy, who I visited this last weekend, has knit a couple of these little gems. We have decided a few important things about this little jacket. Comparing it to the BSJ, it seems that it is infinitely a better investment of time for the amount of wear one can get from it. The BSJ is not very proportional (although extremely an ingenious design) and fits about 6 months - 18 months (with very, very short sleeves at 18 months). The Tometen can fit at 6 months very long in the body with the sleeves heavily cuffed, but it's true size is about 1-3 years (and small 4 year olds like my daughter will still fit in it). I also personally think it is cuter.

I would like to knit a Baby Bog Jacket in the future.

The Tomten takes 3 skeins of worsted weight wool. I have two skeins of the blue and one of the varigated. Normally it takes 1 skein for the body, one for the hood, and one for the sleeves. I am incorporating stripes of the varigated throughout in order to use it up evenly.

I went and stole this picture from Webs to try and show off the beautifulness of this varigated yarn. Somehow, it just doesn't do it justice. I love this colorway and will be knitting something more out of it in the future.

The yellow is really YELLOW and the darker blue in the picture is really VIOLET.

Anywho, I am almost done knitting the body on this sweater and I can not wait to get it done. It is a true pleasure of knitting right now, just the right amount of stripes and short rows to keep my interest and just enough softness and loftiness in the yarn for me to love it.

(If I disappear for a while: the port on my phone is broken/breaking. I need to get it fixed. And it is my gateway to the internet on the laptop. FYI.)

A more official update....

2011-02-22T15:34:00.002-06:00

I received this message from my Aunt, my cousins mother, today on FB:

Just an update that I didn't want to "share". M started to have cramps and bleeding on Friday night . She took the weekend off and did nothing but lay around. By Monday(possibly Sunday late) she had apparently miscarried. She went to the hospital Monday and they pretty much went in and took out what was remaining as well as the mass that was causing the problems. They sent it for a biopsy and she goes back on Friday for more bloodwork and follow-up. Her blood counts were ok but her enzyme levels were extremely high. She should be fine but we are still keeping our fingers crossed at this point. She was trying not to make any decisions until she could talk to D, but I guess God does work in mysterious ways. Thanks for the prayers. Love ya.

(D is Parker's Dad, he is in jail.)

My Aunt's official FB status today:

‎"70 degrees today and GOLFING! YEAH"

This pretty much made me want to THROW UP.

This is what I typed back:

So.....what did they do with the baby??? This is a person. He would have been about 14 inches long, with fingerprints and eyes. Did she get to see him? Or hold him? Or get pictures or foot prints? Or anything?

I find it extremely insensitive to say "they went in and took out what was remaining". They went in and helped her deliver her son. This is normal in this situation. Normally, a hospital also offers to take picutres and footprints when a baby dies this late along. My best friend's daughter died at 24 weeks and she has a memory box with her pictures in it.

I am very happy to hear that she did not decide to abort him. However, I do not think that God goes around telling people "You should take care of yourself and not others...." as you suggested maybe He as doing with this situation and Amanda.

You and my mom are very much alike. If a tragedy happened in my life I could totally expect my mom not to be there and not to interrupt her life to comfort me. Maybe you and Missy are not close. I just don't understand how you could have been golfing today.

I did NOT send this to her. I decided it just felt good to type it. And then I decided maybe I could get my anger and hurt and sadness for my cousin and her son out on here instead of to my Aunt (these were PRIVATE MESSAGES, btw, not FB wall posts).

Here is what I sent her:

I typed up something long and it felt good to get it out, but I am not going to send it to you.

Thanks for letting me know. I hope you had a great day golfing.

Do you have Amanda's address? I would like to send her something.

P.S. God NEVER asks us to sacrifice someone else for ourselves. Ever. He does ask us to *endure* sacrifice to make us stronger and bring us closer to HIM. But they are not the same thing.

I couldn't help but throw that last bit in there.

And now, I am done depressing you and exposing you to my bitterness over this situation. My best friend, C, gave me some great perspective information today. She has had to remind me of this often in our 12 year friendship: "H, your mother's side of the family is whacked. You are having a completely normal emotional response to this and they are not. Try not to be surprised." Thanks C. I love you.

Of two things I am certain

2011-02-21T23:34:00.000-06:00

My cousin is not pregnant anymore and her son is dead.

Details are fuzzy at best. I spoke with my aunt (not her mom), who had talked to her mom (my other aunt) who passed on info.

I did try and call my cousin last night. I left her a voicemail as she did not answer her phone. I wonder if I was the only person who said, "It's ok to want your baby to live".

So - I talked to my aunt today. She had just gotten off the phone with my other aunt (cousin's mom). She said there was some bleeding and cramping last night (Sunday) and "they aborted her baby today". I asked if they killed the baby or did he die and they had to induce her to deliver. My aunt didn't know. She didn't ask. She said my other aunt just said she lost the baby. My cousin is already home.

I asked about this "life-threatening" tumor. Apparently they also took that out, biopsied, and sent it to the lab.

I asked where the baby is. My aunt says she didn't think to ask about that so she doesn't know.

I feel like it was really unfair of me to ask *her* all these questions. I should call and ask my cousin's mom. I want to call my cousin and offer her some kind of support.

I fear that he is in a medical waste bag, being taken our with the trash. My extended family is very big on "we just won't talk about it". I fear that my aunt (her mom) is saying things like, "it was meant to be" "don't worry about it" "it's just the way things are" "move on". No ome seems (granted, I've talked to one person) to realize A CHILD DIED. I know my cousin is going to feel grief and loss, probably very unexpected, from her don dying. I pray that it was because of God's will that he died and not because he was killed. That type of pain will haunt her forever.

I decided I am sending something to her. I don't know if it will be a card or letter or little knit hat or what (would a hat be too weird?). I just want to acknowledge her loss and his life.

I know Parker Thomas is in heaven now praying for us. Please also pray, Parker, for those who were unwilling to stand up for your life.

I am going to go knit something now because there is no way I will be sleeping. I have lots of knitterly things to share from my knitting buddy visit this weekend. Once the immediate fire from this horrible and tragic loss calms a bit I'll post again.

Abortion hits close to home

2011-02-18T22:21:00.000-06:00

No knitting content today. But your prayers are needed.

My cousin, let's call her Missy, is pregnant. This was not planned. In fact, she never wanted to have children and was on the pill when she conceived. She is 22 yrs old and lives several states from me. We are not close, but have very, very similar upbringings.

She did not choose abortion or adoption when she found out she was pregnant, but decided to raise her child. At her 20 week ultrasound, she found out she has a son. I heard from my relatives that she had chosen a name, which we'll say is P.T.

She is now around 24 weeks pregnant.

Through visiting with her dr and not feeling well, she had another ultrasound which revealed cysts on her ovaries and fallopian tubes and a softball size tumor that was not their 4 weeks ago.

They doctors are very worried about this fast growing tumor. they say they can't biopsy it (I don't know the details of why) and that she has a 60% chance of miscarriage.

They recommend (I would boldface and underline that word if I could) she abort. Now. Like, right now.

This is the recommendation - kill your baby so we can see what the tumor is. She was told "You'll probably miscarry anyway." "It's not really an "abortion" because you're not doing it on purpose." "What if you carry to term and then can't have any more children?" "We are trying to save your uterus."

With modern medicine, this little boy could be delivered early and live.

I spoke with some dr friends of mine who recommend a second opinion, which I also recommended to my aunt, her mother. There is a good chance that a fast growing tumor in her uterus during pregnancy is a fibroid (which is benign).

P.T. Has gone from being a little boy to an "it". "It" is preventing them from biopsying the tumor. "It" is a "problem she'll have to figure out," according to my aunt, her mother. Her mother said to me, "Maybe this is God's way of telling her to take care of herself and not others." I am not joking or exaggerating. They are agnostic at best.

Please, please: Pray for this little boy's life. There is a very, very good chance he will be murdered this week. The support for life is not there in this part of my extended family.

If I lived closer (she is probably a good 15 hour drive away) I would be there in a heartbeat to help her advocate and be strong...but honestly I don't even know what she wants or where her heart is with this. I pray that if she chose life once she will do it again.

Any of you who are mothers know, KNOW, that if she let's them kill her baby she will *never forgive herself*. Ever. Even if it turns out to be cancer (which it probably isn't), "I survived cancer" will never trump "Oh, and to do it I killed my baby." A mother would do anything to save the life of her child. I worry that she may not feel that way right now, because possibly he doesn't seem real to her yet. She has no other children and she has never held on of her own children in her arms. But you and I know she will feel that as soon as she does hold him and see him - and if he is dead by her choice that will only make a bad situation worse.

So please, I beg and implore you, my friends, to storm the gates of Heaven, ask for the intercession of our Beloved Saints, the Blessed Mother, God the Holy Spirit, and all the Holy Innocent Souls for Missy and PT. He deserves to live. They both deserve life. Please pray that she will choose life.

Thank you. Abortion and it's evils have never felt more real to me in all my life.

Felted Toy Finished

2011-02-16T11:02:00.002-06:00

Here is the toy pre-felting:

And after:

I had to put this through the wash 3 times!! If I had put something in there on accident (like the hat that went through the was in the load after this) it would have come out barbie sized. Instead, it just would NOT FELT. It's Cascade 220 and some Paton's. Wtf? After the first wash, it was not any smaller and I still had pretty good stitch definition. After wash 2, still had stitch definition. So, I put it in on a super HOT wash for the third time and got this smaller version. I have a front loading machine and I think that is part of the problem.

I also wanted nice, firm circles. It's kind of a squiggly thing. But, the baby likes it.

I think next time:

I will knit shorter loops.

I will do the HOT wash first.

I will only do 3 loops.

Because, of course, I'll be doing it again.

Felted Toy Beginnings

2011-02-16T10:36:00.003-06:00

The "toy" is finished. Here is how it started.

I knit 4 i-cords, red, green, blue, yellow. There were about 14 inches long each (I measured just for you).

I sewed/wove one of them together in a circle first (the green one) and then looped the red one though and wove it together.

I wove each end of the i-cord to the other and then I tied a knot with the two ends. These should felt away in the wash (notice I keep going from present tense to past tense...yes, it was one of those nights last night).

I trimed the knot ends very, very close.

Pre-felting. I have all four loops together.

Cell phone for size comparison. All the ends trimmed. And then......into the wash. TBC.......

Just the "break" I needed

2011-02-14T16:47:00.002-06:00

Those adult sweaters had me so not into my knitting. Bleh. I found the perfect thing to give me a break from those stressful projects (knitting is supposed to be fun!).....baby knits.

This is my No-Purl Baby Sweater I made for my dear friend who had a 5 lb baby 2 weeks ago.

I used Knit Picks Stroll Sock Yarn in the "Twinkle Heather" colorway and some dark purple sock yarn scraps from my scrap bag for the trim.

I hate purling. I don't know why, I just do. So this little sweater is a garter stitch body with stockinette sleeves. I didn't know if it would work out or look right, but I saw it on her this weekend at Mass and it is ADORABLE. :D

I also made a matching hat. Very, very small. It is the size of my cell phone.

This is the Swirl Hat pattern, a free pattern. It is super cute and I love it. I will be making more of these.

And, I am currently working on a baby-teether toy, similar to this, for my own little one. I saw it on Ravelry. It is my inspiration, but I checked the pattern out and I don't like the complicated (what I consider complicated) construction. I am just going to knit up some i-cords, rather long like 12 inches. Then I will create loops and interloop them and felt them. I think it will be rather cute. If I find the resolve, or remember, I may stop at the lumber yarn and pick up a wooden ring to attach my felted rings to.

What are you knitting?

A little knitting humor....

2011-02-11T17:28:00.000-06:00

A woman was knitting while driving (very, very dangerous! do not attempt!). In a short time she was speeding in excess of 95 mph and didn't notice. She also did not notice the policeman behind her with his lights and sirens on. Losing patience, he pulled up beside her and yelled, "Pull over! PULL OVER!!" She looked over at him and yelled back, "No! It's a cardigan!"

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!

Hat...er....Success!!

2011-02-02T19:28:00.002-06:00

After a second try with the hats.......I have success!!

This is, essentially, the same pattern, but in Steeler's colors. My husband requested this hat. (And after I posted pics on Facebook, so did a friend of mine. More to come I suppose.)

This time I cast on 80, and I stayed at 80. I did 1x1 ribbing for about an inch-ish, maybe an inch and a half. Three plain rounds black. 2 white. 1 black. 6 yellow. 1 black. 2 white. Then more black. When I got to 5 inches I began decreases (k8, k2tog.....plain round....k7, k2tog....plain round....etc) until I got to 24 stitches. Then I k1, k2tog for one round, next round k2tog around (no plain round in between).

It fits my husband AND my 10 year old son just fine.

Success. Is. Mine.

Thank you to my 10 year old model. He will be 11 soon. So big. I found some pictures today of him at about 4. He was (and still is) soooooo sweet. Love you Wobbs.

And back on topic....

I frogged the GB Packers hat back to the ribbing and started again. I am almost done. This one is knit to 5 1/2 inches before I began decreases.

Hats, How I Loathe Thee

2011-02-01T15:25:00.003-06:00

I finished the Green Bay Packer Hat. It is very nice. However, I am pretty sure it is too big.

What's up with that?

Hats are simple enough to knit. It just seems I can never get the size right no matter what I do. Usually, I start by being afraid I will make it too small, so I cast on too many stitches. (Check.) Then I knit the ribbing and realize, yes, it is too big. So I rip and cast on again, this time with less stitches. (Check.) Then it's too small, or still too big. Or, it's just right, but I think it might be too small so I rip and cast on again. (Check.)

Oh, will it never end???

I do love the instant gratification of knitting hats. They are usually done pretty fast. I started this one yesterday. But I always find them to be self-doubting projects. Sigh.

Well......the hat is done, but IT is big. I cast-on 80 stitches and increased to 88 after the ribbing (should have skipped this). 80 was friggin' p-l-e-n-t-y. I always, always forget that you need a certain amount of negative ease to keep a hat on (a guy). I also am very sure that I should have started the decreases sooner and that the depth of the hat is a little long. Oh well. I did not weave in the final end (even left the stitch marker in it.....now that I type that I am wondering WHY(????) I did that.....) so that I can rip it back and make it "shorter". But now I think I am going to have to make it "narrower" as well.

I suppose I won't know until my brother comes to try it on.

Oh? Did you want to see it? Here it is:
And for size comparison, my hand. Realize that I have a little of the top tucked under.

Maybe it will be just perfect. My brother could have a really huge head and I just don't know it.

Temporary Un-Slump!!

2011-01-31T12:50:00.002-06:00

I have new yarn!! Even though it is not the most exciting yarn ever, it is still new and needs to be knit NOW.

I got my three skeins of Cascade 220 in the mail today. See? (look down)

Here is some interesting fact: My family is from Pittsburgh, PA (they are very, very excited, HI Aunt San!). I have lived in WI for 18 years. I was born in Dallas, TX.

Could this be a cooler Superbowl?? I think not!

I must make at least 1 Steeler Hat for my husband (he just really loves Pittsburgh (the city) and thinks the AFC has this one!), and 1 Green Bay hat for my brother (big-time Packer fan, cause ya know, we live ehre). I may make an itty-bitty Steeler hat from the left-overs for my newly pregnant cousin and an itty-bitty Green Bay hat for my little nephew in Utah. Maybe. We'll see how "hatted-out" I am after the big-boy hats!
Also, my dear, dear friend had a BABY GIRL last night and needs some knitted goodness. I think a mini-tiny sweater is in order since she had a little-bitty 5 lb baby!! :)

Slump on hold for now......!!!

In A Slump....the full post

2011-01-30T15:55:00.002-06:00

I am in a knitting slump. I don't know what's up. Well, I kind of do, a little.

I have items on my needles that I have no desire, or have lost the desire, to knit.

Let's start at the beginning.

I started the February Lady Sweater back in November. It was cold outside, and this was the only project I had planned for myself to which I already possessed the yarn.

I knit the yoke in a matter of days. I finally picked it up again a few weeks ago and knit far enough to divide for the sleeves. And now it's about 2 inches past where the sleeves are. I took it off the needles and tried it on.

It's too small.

Fuck.

The idea of ripping it out and knitting that again is overwhelming, especially since I only have 5 skeins (210 yards each) of Malabrigo to knit it out of and I feel like I barely have enough to knit the size I am knitting (according to the pattern) let alone to go up another size. *sigh*

Also, I am of average size. My breasts, not so much. This makes it difficult to even pick out a size, let alone knit one, from any pattern. I am always presented with the same problem....little shoulders, big chest, normal waist. I know a bit about sweater design and modification, but still. It's upsetting. I don't want to knit accessories for the rest of my life.

Next up.....

The picture up there ::imagine arrow pointing up::. That is the very, very beginning of my Effortless Cardigan. I have knit probably half of the yoke beyond that. The yarn is lovely, very very squishy and round and just buttery goodness.

But.

I think I might like it even more if I went up a needle size.

The prospect of ripping this out is bugging me, and not in a good way. I have put A LOT of time into knitting this. It could be fine the way it is. But I have this nagging feeling I'd like it more at a slightly looser gauge. This, of course, also involves reworking the numbers again (already did this once for the current gauge I am knitting at).

Argh.

So.....

With those two projects making me want to go hide my head in the sand like an ostrich, I cast on something "new". I thought if I started a project that was "needed" and very "useful" I'd be sure to find knitting it very rewarding and want to complete it ASAP. It would be awesome!!

Nope. Not really.

I cast on for another Nighttime Soaker (link is for the original). This one is in a bigger size (she outgrew that one). I forgot how stinkin' long it takes to do double knitting (in the round, especially). I can knit for an hour and it grows like maybe one centimeter. Arghhhhh! This project, too, has a mental roadblock attached to it.

Still....

There is the Husband Sweater on the needles. Really, this just needs a few more inches of body and then I can attach the sleeves (already knit) and knit the yoke. I really *should* do this.

There it is. My slump.

I really want to knit something exciting, and colorful, and crazy. I have lots of yarn, but I really don't want to start anything else.

I did find an awesome crochet cowl pattern (here), free, that I want to crochet (crazy! because I *hate* crochet). But I can't decide on a yarn that would work out of my stash and I am NOT ordering more yarn.

Of course, in the mail in the next few days is coming 3 skeins of Cascade: 1 Palm (green), 1 Goldenrod (yellow), and 1 Black. What, oh what, will I ever knit with those?? Superbowl hats for my men (husband, brother, son).

Slumpy. Frumpy.

In A Slump

2011-01-29T22:39:00.000-06:00

On a lighter note.....

2011-01-29T12:31:00.002-06:00

Since I got not a single comment on my last post, I am thinking maybe many of you saw it in "bad taste" or whatever and I am going to lighten it up a bit. :) Please do understand, that here at "Today Again", you get real me - not glossed over me, not "I am super pious" me, not perfect-mom me, or no-sinning-going-on-in-this-head me. Nope. Just REAL me. The post about the (awesome) dream was just a glimpse into me. I hope it at least made you laugh a little.

We are first lightening up a bit with some yarny news....

I got the shipment of yarn for the Malabrigo Scrappy Swap in the mail today!! And I have picutures!! Except, silly me, I forgot to load them here before I started typing. Let me tell you, if I try to load them now, it will erase all of my previous typing and links. Being that the typing with the nursing baby on my lap takes a lot of time and patience, not to mention the added linkage and "boldface" type.....I am just going to link you to the Ravelry pictures instead. Or, you can follow the forum posts here, where there are also pictures.

And, from the depths of my 4 year old's awesome phrases:

ME (talking to baby Rose, 4 months): Hello Pumpkin! Aren't you a cutie pumpkin pie??

FLOWER (in all seriousness): Mama, she is not a pumpkin!

Happy Saturday!!

Best Dream Ever

2011-01-27T09:39:00.000-06:00

I know this has become somewhat of a knitting blog, so if you're here for that today you probably want to leave now. No knitting content.

I also write about matters of faith and Catholic-y stuff. None of that either today.

Today, well....ahhhhh....today I awoke from one of the best dreams ever.

Was it fortune or fame? Did I knit up my whole stash? Meet the Pope? Have another baby? Go on a real date with my husband? Get a maid?

No, no, no, no, no, and no.

I told my husband's ex-wife exactly what I thought about her money-grubbing ways that take food out of my kids' mouths so she can have snowmobiles, an RV, and a new car every year.

And then....

I beat her up.

And...

It felt good!

Now, I didn't beat her to a pulp or anything. I just punched her in the face a few times and threw her into the wall while I was telling her what a bad example of a human being and mother she was. I think I kicked her in the shins a few times too. She was able to walk away.

Ok, ok. I know this isn't very "Christian" of me. But let me say this - This is something that would *never* happen in real life. It feels good right now because at least I had some release of the pent up anger and injustice I feel at something (a situation) that I can do ABSOLUTELY nothing about. It doesn't matter if I did tell her any of those things IRL, because she doesn't care. Judges don't care, the system doesn't care.
IRL, I place my trust in God and try to find peace knowing He won't let us starve (He hasn't). But, I am still angry. And there is no where for that anger to go, least of all where it is directed (at the money-grubbing whore).

(Yes, I just used whore and God in the same paragraph. I'm odd like that.)

So, the best release I could be given, that has no repercussions *what-so-ever* (IRL), no jail, no fines, no my kids seeing me let this situation (and psycho woman) steer me into a really bad decision, was this TOTALLY KICK-ASS DREAM.

No. It didn't solve anything. In fact, in the dream, I think she had managed to convince a judge to give her even more money, which is why I finally lost it and figured it couldn't hurt to tell her like it is.

Thank you God for that release. She'll never know about, but it still felt great!! I can't stop smiling.

"Ask Them What They Mean by 'Choice' Blog Day"

2011-01-21T01:00:00.000-06:00

This is taken directly from Jill Stanek's Blog:

When NARAL announced a “Blog for Choice Day,” to be held this Friday, January 21, my blood boiled.

How dare they celebrate the upcoming 38th anniversary of the infamous Roe v. Wade decision with their ambiguous claptrap.

Over 50 million babies have been killed in America since that terrible day, most certainly nothing to cheer about, unless you’re in Rome at the Colosseum perhaps.

So pro-life bloggers are banding together to sponsor a counter “Ask Them What They Mean When They Say ‘Choice’ Blog Day” on the same day, January 21.

We’re also encouraging all pro-lifers on Twitter and Facebook to participate.

The idea is simple. Any time any of us reads pro-aborts spouting their obscure “choice” rhetoric on a blog, website, Facebook, or Twitter, we call them out on it. We ask them to explain what the “choice” is.

Is it to eat carrots rather than broccoli? To wear red instead of blue? No, of course “choice” is code for killing babies. What’s their problem with the A-word?

Yes, this is a shameless scheme to suck oxygen out of the pro-aborts’ social media universe, to deny them any time whatsoever to support abortion without defending it.

~~~~~~~

I am participating. Any time I see someone defending "choice" on Friday, I am asking them what it means. I like Jill's questions: Is it to eat carrots rather than broccoli? To wear red instead of blue?

This is not what "choice" means to the culture of death. Choice means "kill a baby". That is it. I spent numerous hours this week getting sucked into reading comments on all kinds of pro-life blogs and on abortion stories in the media. I have not been blogging enough about this awful, satanic, demonic holocaust in America (and around the world). My blood is boiling again.

Anyone want to join me?

Oh! I forgot to mention.....

2011-01-19T21:46:00.001-06:00

Another thing I love about this little hat: It can be pulled back like a little hood.

Isn't that cute?

So, it essentially covers the neck, ears, and head seamlessly, folds back as a hood when not in use, and is totally cute. Good all around.

Here's some more pictures for you to check out. Yes, that is the Wobber's back there. He is going to be 11 (E-L-E-V-E-N!!) very soon. Wow.

What I've been working on

2011-01-19T14:00:00.002-06:00

The cutest little baby hat ever!! I have been figuring out the pattern for the hat I bought Lovey almost 2 years ago, before I learned to knit. I think I got it and decided to test knit the pattern I wrote.

This is just some Cascade 220 that I had left over from another project in a blue/grey color.

It turned out very, very cute. I think for an infant I could potentially leave out about 8 stitches next time and come up with a better fitting size. That little point at the top is a little too "full" for my liking (although, I *LOVE* the pointyness of this hat!!).

This is really a simple 2x2 rib hat. Once you work about 2 inches in the round on 76 stitches, you cast of 6 stitches in the middle and then work back and forth. The corners where the stitches meet are 2 stitches accross (as in the 2x2 rib) and 3 rows high.

It is finished with a 3 needle bind off on the underside of the top, giving it a pointy little gnomey-pixie look. I am thinking I will knit her one of these in my club yarn for next month (colorway choices this month were "grapes of wrath" or "daisy chain"....I got grapes of wrath in a worsted weight.....just....one....skein).

I really, really love this hat!! Can't wait to make more! It's a quick, easy, and unique baby gift I think!

Knitting Random

2011-01-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

Just some random knitting news, stuff, etc.

This is a picture of my package (the one I received) in the Reducio Sock Swap - Round 13. I got 2 itty-bitty socks, a bunch of goodies, and a copy of "The Tales of Beedle the Bard." It's too cool. I love this group on Ravelry, and it is sooooo much fun. Of course, I forgot to take a picture of the package I sent out. It had Hermione's beaded bag, 2 mini-socks, and 3 mini-knitted Horcruxes in it (and some chocolate and candy).

This is a picture of the Wobbs in his hew hat. I have dubbed this "The Panda Hat" because he looks like a little bear cub. This is actually a diaper soaker (Sheepy Soaker is the pattern) that he found in my yarn box. It was never used. He asked me to cover the leg openings with some teal yarn.....and voila! A hat!

And.....

I finally sewed a button onto the Nutmeg Sweater. I *had* to. Baby girl was out-growing the little pink garter-stitch yoke sweater I knit her, so it was time to upgrade. I sewed on the button, added the button loop, and knit two i-cords to close the other side.

She is fat and cute. She wears this a lot now. I really like it a lot more than I thought I would. :)

Swatch Happy

2011-01-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

Zora is not turning out as I planned. I still don't have the right needles and I am really not sure that I want to knit a sweater out of this yarn. The more I swatch, the more I think, "WTF am I thinking?" Well, I am thinking I should have ordered the yarn in a different base. Not because I don't like the yarn.....I just don't think I want a sweater made out of it. Then, of course, what will I do with 5 skeins of sock yarn in this amazing blue-gray colorway?? I don't know. Maybe a massive Pi-shawl? Or a bunch of medium sized ones? Or maybe I'll knit the sweater anyway once I decide to order needles.

Anywho. So I also have the gorgeous yarn for the Effortless Cardigan. And guess what? I *do* have the right needles to knit that sweater. So I swatched. The yarn is DK and the pattern calls for a gauge of 19 stitches/4 inches. So, I knit two swatches. One on size US 3 (3.25mm) and one on size US 4 (3.5 mm).

I measured the gauge both before and after blocking. (I'm a little OCD, and the yarn was expensive, so I want to make sure the project comes out just right.) I am thinking about sending it through the washing machine to see if that does anything to it also (just in case I ever want to wash it that way, it *is* superwash).

I think I am going to go with the size 3 needles. I got 4.64 stitches to the inch (it's an average from the 5 different measurements I took of the swatch, 3 four inch ones and 2 three inch ones). I played with the numbers a bit and I am happy with the results.

The two swatches are wonderful, btw. I am definitely buying more of this yarn. It is the softest and squishiest yarn ever, perfectly round. LOVE it. This picture here does it no justice.

Now the hard part - do I cast on? Or finish my February Lady Sweater (in Malabrigo, already separated for the sleeves)?

First FO of 2011

2011-01-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

I finished this hat sometime in the first few days of 2011. I have a couple pictures of it on (it is very nice) but they are blurry. So, this is all you get.

The pattern is "Hermione Hearts Ron". It is taken from the hat Hermione wears in the movie "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince". It calls for fingering-type weight yarn. I used worsted and changed the numbers accordingly. The original hat has 12 repeats of the 11 stitch chart....I only did 9. This also means I had to fudge the crown decreases. I ended up frogging the crown twice. The third time I knit it, it was good. (Now what *did* I do??)

Oh - yes. I decreased the purls first by p3, p2tog. Once those were gone, I decreased the knits NOT by k2tog, but on the same line as where the purls were going away, by ssk. So the crown swirls one way and then the other. It looks nice with the cables.

I have also decided that I like cables, but not big blocks of purl inbetween. I'll keep that in mind for future projects.

The yarn I used for this was Dream in Color Classy, a superwash worsted-weight wool. I love it! I have used their Smooshy yarn before (sock yarn) and I was underimpressed. But this stuff is great. I loved the feel, the fabric, and the colors (this colorway was "Lunar Zazzle"). I would knit with it again in a heartbeat. I am actually resisting the urge to purchase enough to make a sweater.....since I have plently of sweater yarn right now.

Better late than never.....

2011-01-12T17:43:00.002-06:00

Pictures from getting a Christmas Tree. It was great. The "little" kids were big enough to really have fun this year.

Can you see the camo Lovey in the above picture?

In the car....waiting to get out. Me in the car. Tradition dicatate I must take a picture of all of us in the car.

The Lovey. So cute.

And my favorite picutre of the day. It helps that I *heart* my husband with a beard. Sadly, it is gone now, left only with the chin hair (still nice, but not the *best* imo; he hates the beard, but does it for me every year).

Baptism

2011-01-12T17:27:00.002-06:00

Rose was baptised this weekend. Here are some pictures for those of you who live far away.

Unlike my other children, she didn't mind the water a bit.

There is her Godmother.

On the left, GodMother and Godfather (in the green and grey), on the right, myself and the husband (pink and green), and in the middle, Fr. Holmes.

Isn't she cute!

It's me again

2011-01-07T01:31:00.000-06:00

Hi.

I wish I could delete that last post. Can't do that when you blog from a phone.

I guess that would be a little "real-world-me" coming through.

Let me tell you -

Even on the bad days....

Even when they make me crazy...

Even when I have not showered in 7 days because everyone is sick and needs me (like now).....

I would not trade this job for all the yarn in the world (yarn seems more appropriate than money).

I love my kids, and not just because it's cool to say that or sound self rightchous (how the heck do you spell that at 1am without your glasses on laying in bed??y.

I really love them. I get angry and frustrated. I am real. This is real life.

But they are sooooo worth it.

(So much so, I will probably *not* return to Midwifery, even though I am *almost* done to the point of having a license. But that's another post....something I've been thinking about for a long time.)

I have created a monster

2011-01-06T23:18:00.000-06:00

My 2 year old.

He's so cute. And cuddly. And sweet. He can melt my heart with a laugh or one of his smiles.

Last week, when he fell ill, he wanted to nurse. I have always had wonderful dreams of tandem nursing and my kids growing up to be "nursing buddie" and all that jazz. It has *never* worked out, as whoever is the nusling usually weans themselves at about 4 months into the next pregnancy. I am usually sad when they wean, but relieved a little too.

So, when he wanted to nurse, I was happy. I was so excited that he wanted to reconnect, that he'd be getting good anti-bodies (since he's sick), and that I could comfort him.

It's been a week.

I've decided he's a little like an addict.

He seems to believe he needs to be attached 24/7. Um, no. You are 2. I have no problem nursing 3 or 4 times during the day. In fact, for naptime I prefer it to other methods of sleep induction. But YOU DO NOT NEED TO NURSE AS OFTEN AS THE INFANT WHO DOES NOT EAT ADULT FOOD. Seriously.

He has been protesting my, er, "restrictions". He protests very loudly, usually by repeating, "I want some mooties" over. And over. And over. It's really @#?!ing annoying.

I know, I know....but MamaMidiwfe, remember how *happy* you were to be serving God by caring for your children? How happy it made you to "be there" for them? Why are you complaining?

I appologize. Really I did. Click away from my page. Go ahead, I understand.

I am just sooooo annoyed. I know he's tired, and/or sick (he is starting to turn the corner since he was the first one to get "it"), and needs me. It just sucks. I cannot nurse him all day. I have a baby who needs me for that.

He is also waking up at night and asking for them. Dude? Wtf? Last night he repeated "I want some mooties" for AN HOUR. And I even nursed him twice during that hour and he just. kept. going.

In fact, he has been saying that for the last hour that I have been sitting here in bed. I finally picked up my phone and decided to post.

I know I no longer sound charitable. I understand if this rant makes me the worst mama ever. And if you never want to come back.

But.

I.

Am.

Going.

Crazy.

Want to come?

*le sigh*

I imagine (hope) this will get better. I have decided, for now, nighttime nursing is reserved for the BABY only. I hate to see my boy cry - but I get up enough as is to nurse during the night. He *is* in fact mature enough to be sleeping and cuddled when he wakes. (Which I've been doing for always.)

Poor kid. It's all my fault.

A little "Round-Up"

2011-01-06T00:23:00.003-06:00

Well, I've never done a knitting "round up" of the year.....but here it goes.

2010 saw my knitting skill and stamina increase. According to Ravelry, I knit 38 projects this year (whew!). 2 projects are still WIP for this year, and 2 were put to sleep. One of the WIP is a completed project that was started in 2009, frogged in 2010 and restarted.

I completed:
6 sweaters
6 pairs of longies
2 soakers
6 pairs of gloves/mittens/fingerless mittens
6 hats
1 pair of socks
1 pair of wee-tiny-socks
1 wee-tiny bag with 3 wee-tiny horcuxes inside of it (forgot to take a picture and add to projects)
4 plush-y type toys
1 shawl
1 blanket (crochet)
1 scarf (for my mom, not on my project page)
1 hat not on project page for hideousness

I still have 2 sweaters (one for me, one for the husband) on the needles.

I have 2 socks hibernating. One of them indefintely. The other I think I will knit into wristies.

Hmp. That feels pretty good.

Now, for fun, let's contrast that with 2009 - the year I learned to knit.

15 projects:

1 pair of socks
1 hat
2 sweaters (1 of those got frogged and is currently on the needles)
2 shorties (1 turned into a hat, not the hat counted earlier, just thought you'd like to know)
2 soakers (1 of these also turned into a hat in 2011)
1 pair of mittens
1 single mitten
1 single bootie
3 plushy type toys (2 Yoda's and a sheep)
1 afghan square (just a square, tiny, like 8 x 8 inches)

Seems I have picked up speed......

Here's to some good knitting this year. :)

3am is a great time to blog

2011-01-04T03:34:00.000-06:00

No, really. It is.

I am up because I have sick kids. Some kind of fever/headache bug has hit. It started with Lovey on Friday and yesterday bloomed in Flower and the Wobbers.

Now, before you click away because you don't want to hear me get all complain-y (yes, I just made up that word), let me tell you I'm actually happy about this.

No, I am not the extremely-pious-holier-than-thou-type parent/Catholic/Christian either (so you don't have to click away because of *that*)....but....really I had an epiphany about this sick kid thing:

I am thankful for the opportunity to serve. I am thankful to God for these babies and the chance to comfort them, which is only made possible by God's Will for my life and His Grace.

And that makes me joyous.

And a little sleep deprived.

But seriously - living out my vocation brings me joy, even (and sometimes especially) in what our secular world would call the "crappy" moments.

I did not grow up with lots of caring and comfort from my parents, especially when I was sick. Having a sick kid was considered a major inconvenience to them and I/we were constantly reminded of such when we were ill. No one "babied" me/us or took the extra time to make sure I/we were as comfortable as possible. It was pretty much "you can stay home from school but you're on your own". To be fair, I'm sure (or I hope) part of that was due to important things like "someone has to go to work to make the money or we won't eat"....but, I digress.

Being able to care for my children in completely unselfish ways (when I'd rather be doing anything else than getting puked on) has a healing quality to those childhood wounds I picked up telling me I wasn't worth it. (I grew up with a *profound* belief that I was not worthy of anything good, especially love and time or praise.) It feels good to give them the reinforcements that tell them, in not so many words, "YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND LOVED" and "I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU" - even let you puke in my lap or have a nose-bleed all over my shirt (3 of those today!!) just because it comforts you and is easier for you to have to endure this crap in your mama's arms.

So even though I wish I had 6 extra hands today, and two extra laps (mama's lap is prime real estate around here when everyone is sick), I am happy, joyful even. God is good. He has surrounded me with soooo much love, so many reminders of my worth to Him (in the forms of little souls I am responsible for for a little while): it just makes me smile.

:)

Yarn Club Yarn

2011-01-03T18:12:00.000-06:00

I was reading back through a few posts and realized I promised pictures but never gave them.

This is my shipment from the Speshul Snowflakes Yarn Club for December:

Up first is "Mulled Wine" on the yarn base Big Feet, which is a superwash DK.

It is destined to become the Effortless Cardigan.

It is delightful, and deep, and saturated, and squooshy!

This is "Blue Steel" in the base All Your Base, which is a superwash fingering.

It will become Zora. I *heart* this color.

I have already purchased 2 new circs and knit 3 swatches for this sweater. Alas, none of them work. It seems I am destined to order more needles (again) and I will probably be knitting the entire thing on size US 1 (2.25mm) needles. Unless anyone has a US 1 metal circular needle at least 24 inches lng (or longer) they won't need for 6 months??? (or want to sell)

But the yarn is *lovely*. I can't wait for next months choices. (Just ONE skien for me next month. One is what's already paid for.)

Malabrigo Swap anyone?

2011-01-02T17:59:00.002-06:00

This post is just aimed at knitters. Sorry to everyone else.

Do you love Malabrigo?

Do you like making scrappy projects?

Do you want to get some Malabrigo scraps without having to purchase 10 different skeins yourself?

I am hosting a Malabrigo Swap over on Ravelry in the "Soakers and Longies" group. I am just gauging interest right now - sign-ups haven't started yet. If you are a member of Ravelry, and interested.....go check it out.

:)

Tandem

2011-01-02T14:05:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's Day.

Around here, my Lovely has been sick. He has a fever of unknown origin (read: Mama thinks he's got some virus running through his system).

He is very sad-looking. The bonus of him being sick (see, I can find a silver lining in anything) is that he is mellow-er than normal. He cuddles, will sit still for short periods of time, and wants to read lots of books on your lap. I love it.

He has also decided that he needs milkies. His little nody is smart enough to know that nursing will help him fight whatever it is. I am sure the close, cuddle time with Mama doesn't hurt either. ;)

He does not, however, like that he is not first in line for milkies. Rose gets first dibs *always*. If he's nursing and then she wants some, he gets kicked off. He doesn't like that one bit. It's hard for me too, because I don't like making him sad. But I have to remind myself that he *is* bonded to me and Rose is still getting attached. She needs more reassurance than he does because she's littler and new.
We'll see where it goes from here. He may stop nursing once he feels better, or not. Doesn't matter either way to me (although I have become quite HUNGRY since he picked up nursing again).

**Is there knitting going on? You bet! Almost done with the first new WIP of the new year, a hat for ME.**

The boy's sweater = DONE!

2010-12-20T10:38:00.004-06:00

I am very happy with how this turned out. More...I am really happy I am NOT knitting this anymore. I do not enjoy knitting with acrylic yarn. It is fake feeling and a little squeaky. This particular yarn is 80% acrylic, 20% wool, and machine washable. Next time, I am just getting some superwash wool. :) The bonus, of course, is that this sweater cost me...wait for it....$10 to make. Ten. Dollars. And he **LOVES** it. He loves everything about it, the color, the feel, the warm, the style, all of it.

There are lots and lots of details on my ravelry project page.

Now I have to finish knitting the Man's sweater. Then I can focus on mine! Mwahahaahaa!

In other knitting news (yes, this has totally become a knitting blog, for now):

My yarn from the Speshul Snowflakes Yarn Club is arriving today. I am totally excited. I would highly recommend joining this yarn club. You get two color choices and YOU pick the base yarn (sock, worsted, bulky, DK, etc.) each shipment. You can order extra skeins too, and you can even choose to get both colors if you want. I *love* it. This time, I got both colors in sweater quantities (because I loved them soooo much and couldn't choose just one). Pictures this week. (Yarn is not here yet.....mail comes at 12.)

I also decided last minute to knit a few Christmas gifts. Great idea, right? Especially since Christmas is in 5 days. Uh-huh.

I actually purchased some fun-fur, on purpose, to make one of these gifts. I hate it, but my mom thinks it's the bees knees. I am making her a scarf. I am holding the fun fur with a strand of some Caron Simply Soft acrylic (at least it's not squeaky) and knitting a garter stitch scarf on size 10.5 needles. Should be done soon.

I am also going to make my brother (I hope, may not get it done in time) a Green Bay Packers hat our of Cascade 220 wool. It will be warm and wonderful and he will like it.

Don't tell them what they're getting. I am talking to you, Aunt Sandy. :)

Seekrit Christmas Knitting

2010-12-08T13:13:00.002-06:00

I am not a Christmas knitter. People in my family and friends have not received knitted gifts from me for Christmas and I don't know that they ever will. I do knit for them. But, I am not so disillusioned as to think that I would be able to hit a deadline, let alone Christmas, and have knitted items for everyone.

This year, however, I entered a swap on Ravelry. It's part of the "Super Swappers" group. You have to include yarn and the rest is up to you....value $30. The yarn is on it's way (to be sent out again, of course).

In the mean time, I knit up these Candy Cane Mitts. My own "made up as I went" pattern, and I like it.

The woman I am swapping with (it's a Secret Santa swap, so she doesn't know it's me) cannot actually eat candy canes, so I thought this would be a nice substitute.

Yes, there are two.

They came out pretty nice. I like the striping/spirally pattern. You just cast one less than [an even number] (in this case 6) x [your stripe repeat] (in this case 6, 3 red + 3 white)....35. Knit in the round, you will have a cute little spiral going up the arm/wrist/head/whatever you knit it for. I saw this originally on Ruth's blog in a hat (where she did a 4 one color, 4 another color repeat on 87 stitches I believe for a hat). Ruth is knittingbloggyblog. Can't link, but it's on the sidebar.

One Word Meme

2010-12-07T20:44:00.002-06:00

I saw this (somewhere) and it looked like fun. A break from the regular, and a little about me.

Answer each with just one word

1. Yourself: mom
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): husband
3. Your hair: brown
4. Your kids: loved
5. Your house: messy
6. Your Favorite Item: yarn
7. Your dream last night: weird
8. Your Favorite drink: milk
9. Your Dream Car: suburbuan
10. The room you are in: living
11. Yarn: wool
12. Your socks: missing
13. What you want to be in 10 years? mama
14. Who you hung out with last night? kids
15. What You're Not? passive
16. Muffins: blueberry
17. One of Your Wish List Items: maid
18. Time: flies
19. The Last Thing You Did: knit
20. What You Are Wearing: sweatpants
21. Your Favorite Weather: fall
22. Your Favorite Color: blue
23. The Last Thing You Ate: pizza
24. Your Life: crazyfun
25. Your Mood: crabby
26. Your best friend: Cassie
27. What are you thinking about right now? knitting
28. Your car: van
29. What are you doing at the moment? typing
30. Your summer: pregnant
31. Outside your window: dark
32. What is on your TV? Dora
33. What is the weather like? cold
34. When is the last time you laughed? today

Consider yourself tagged!

Comment on comments

2010-12-07T00:32:00.000-06:00

Oh how I wish blogger made it easier to reply to comments. (I also wish I could *open* a blogger comment page on my phone, but that's another post.)

I do read every comment and appreciate then all. :) If I don't comment back, know that it's a combination of blogger's poor format and my newborn's ability to need me exactly at the moment when I think it may be appropriate to sit down with the laptop and respond to emails.

Seems I have a few new followers. Welcome! I am now up to 14. That's pretty cool that 14 of you think it's worthwhile to stop by here on a (semi) regular basis. Thank you.

Knitting content to resume shortly - as well as quirky mom bytes and crazy children shenanegans.

Keep on trying.....

2010-12-02T06:08:00.000-06:00

I have seriously sat down with the laptop about six times this week to write a post. Everytime, somebody needs me -loudly.

It's ok. I can handle that.

I figure God has a plan. And that plan is for me to sit down.

So many wonderful ideas have zipped through my brain for me to share with you. And - as I sit here in bed, with my blackberry, watching my little girl sleep in my lap her tummy all full of milk - I can't for the life of me remember a single one.

I have found some very interesting blogs as of late and will (hopefull) be updating the blogroll soon.

My friend, Papa K, would really like me to send him a picture for his fanroll. So I may have to do that this week.

Advent has not seen any activities around here. But I have been saying a Hail Mary and an Our Father with the kids each night. :)

I also decided (amoungst my thousands of other projects) that I'd like to knit 27 or so wee tiny socks to make an Advent Calandar. I'll start that in the new year.

I started a sweater for ME It's damn cold outside and everyone else around here has handknit wooly goodness, except me.

And - there is yarn on the way for me to knit 2 more sweaters for myslef. All 3 I have planned so far are cardigans, but the are the more versitile for me and do not require me to think to hard about accomodating my rather large breasts in the pattern. I will cross that obstacle sometime because my dream knitting project is a fitted, v-neck, long sleeved pullover for me. I just don't know exactly how to do that with my bust size yet.

I think I figured out what makes the baby puke. I hadn't made my absolute favorite meal in about 2 weeks - enchilada casserole. She also had not puked on me for a few weeks. Well, I made it and munched it for 2 days. She also puked on me for about 3 days. Bummer for me and my favorite meal.

Do any of my blogger friends do Facebook? (I do.)What do you think of it? Do you use it as a place to promote your blog? (I don't.) Do you use it to connect with family and close friends? (I do.) Or do you see it as more of a "networking site" and have tons of friends whom you don't actually know outside of FB? (I have lots of real friends who use FB as such.) I am just curious. I don't think there is a wrong or right way to do FB. I just wonder what everyone else does. I have a few "friends" on there whom I I only met either in blogland or as mutual friends on FB. But most of my "friends" are people I actually know and want to "connect" with more than I am able to in person. I only have about 60 or 70 "friends" and I regularly go through and edit out people I don't need or really want to be "friends" with - like the shy introvert nerdy friend I had in high school who I hung out with all the time that has since become a, ahem, $exual freak (as in talks about $ex all the time on FB!! Details too!!). I had to unfriend her after I viewed her wall and realized I was neither interested nor willing to read about her exploits on a daily basis. Ew. It was "nice" to connect or whatever, but not worth keeping her around since we obviously had nothing in common anymore. (Yuck.)

And now, I must sleep. Today will be a long day. Homeschool group followed by lunch and a walmart run, pick up the teenager from school, and then run to a friend's house to get some yarn (acryllic for doll clothes) and a movie we left there (Barbie: Fairytopia....can't live without it), and home to get a fire going as I am sure the house will be in the 50's by then.

Tomorrow is First Friday Mass in the "big city" followed by the insane-Friday-afternoon grocery run (because we'll be there anyway for Mass, save gas).

Saturday is Chop Down A Christmas Tree Day, Get Out The Ornaments And Lights Day, and Go A Little Crazy Day.

Sunday - the second Sunday of Advent. Advent music at church is the *best* I love "Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel". The. Best.

Have a great day my friends. :)

More Baby Pictures

2010-11-25T09:00:00.000-06:00

This is what I am thankful for:

I kind of got a smile here.....

I love the surprised "what the heck is that flash" face.

And I took the flash off to get a better laughing smiling picture (she almost always stops smiling when she sees the flash).

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yes, I can craft things other than yarn

2010-11-24T09:00:00.000-06:00

Flower wanted to make a "Christmas Tree" the other day. So I pulled out some glue, sissors, and construction paper and we did some crafty stuff. Lovey did them too, but he wasn't hanging around for pictures.

This is Mama Mary and Baby Jesus. Violet is very proud of her gluing skillz. :)
And here she is with her Christmas Tree. (Yes, I just started a sentence with "and". I know it's not proper grammer and I don't care.)

She arranged all those ornaments herself too.

I added this last picture because it made me laugh! It's the "I am smiling so hard it hurts" face!! Hee Hee!

Please don't think it's all crafts all the time around here. It's not. Although lately I have been trying to not give in to the "it's going to be way too much work and be way too messy and it won't be perfect" voice in my head that tells me not to even bother trying to do fun things with the toddlers. Really, if I just jump in and KISS (keep it simple, stupid) everything is fine. I am realizing that my toddlers don't want (or need) some long, drawn out, over explained lesson about what we're doing. They don't need it to be perfect either (and they don't have to be perfect). They just want some simple, creative fun.

As much as I would love 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep....

2010-11-24T06:29:00.000-06:00

I cherish this time spent alone with my child, where I am the only one who can meet her needs as she roots around with her face, in the dark, totally trusting I will be there to comfort and reassure her.

I imagine this is how God wishes we would reach for him in times of need - with total, unfailing Trust that He will be there to meet all our needs. There is so much to be learned from the love of a child.

I am eternally thankful for these moments in time - not just because the delicious smell of my baby is intoxicating (it *is*), but also because God has given me the perfect example of His expansive and never ending love for me (wow, *me*) by allowing me to have this wonderful child to love who depends on me for everything.

Watching her sleep in the peaceful dark while and after she nurses are the most rewarding moments of my day.

WIP Wednesday....er Tuesday(?)

2010-11-23T10:37:00.002-06:00

This is Wobber's sweater. The sun was still hiding the day I took this, so squint to see the pocket covering the front. This is the Wonderful Wallaby, which I have knit before. It's a nice pattern. His sweater is now about 1/2 way done! I am very happy about this. Both sleeves are also done and waiting to be added to the sweater.

Yesterday, I went thrifting with my mom. My mom is awesome when we go to the second hand store because she graciously pays for everything (thanks Ma!!). The kids got a bunch of new long sleeve shirts for winter and Wobbers got a new suit jacket for Mass.

I picked up a yarn bag. Well, I am sure it is meant for something else, but I am using it for yarn. I have been carrying my projects around in a bright red bag I got from the Veteran's Association in the mail as a "gift" for my donation a few years ago. The bag is not a very good yarn bag, but it's been what I have. No pockets. No closure. Nada.

This pretty black and white bag was $1.69. It has a zipper closure and a velcro closure, an outside pocket on each side (big enough to hold a pattern, or a notebook)(one velcro, one zippered), and two inside zippered pockets. And it's *pretty*.

I was going to buy some velcro strips at the store to put over the scratchy velcro side of the velcro (velcro + yarn = not good) - but the velcro was easily removed with my seam ripper. Now I have a very useful bag and it didn't cost me a thing!

And not only is this a WIP post, it's a "the sun came out and I got a better picture of the color of the most recent longies" post.

The Whales Road colorway is sooooo beautiful! I know I keep saying this, and you're probably tired of hearing it, but whatever. It's just that awesome. In my knitting geekiness I want everyone to know. (Or maybe I should be keeping it to myself so it doesn't sell out everywhere?)

I also got a sunshine picture of the Little Lovely longies. My girl is wearing them all the time. They are warm and pretty and soft. I sit around and pet them. Not really. Ok, maybe sometimes.

[Insert Clever Title Here]

2010-11-22T10:39:00.002-06:00

I started another pair of longies on Friday. Actually, as you can see, they are almost done.

This is the "Whales Road" colorway from Malabrigo. I think this is my favorite colorway EVER!! The pictures aren't great because the sun is missing (again, thanks a lot sun).

Wow. That picture really sucks. *shameful feeling*

This last one is probably the best, but still not as wonderfully awesome as the longies themselves are. I am so totally going to make a sweater some time in the future out of this - FOR ME. It's crazy beautiful for a blue/purple/green lover like myself.

In other news:

My 4 year old daughter has been desparately asking to make "Christmas cookies", which apparently is any sugar cookie cut into shapes, be it a heart even. So I finally gave in and made up a triple batch of dough. I *cut* corners (hahahaha) by just rolling the dough into balls and then rolling it in colored sugar crystals I had in the cupboard. Then I flattened them with a spoon and baked them. She thought it was awesome and had lots of fun rolling them in the sugar.

I like my cookies soft and chewy. So naturally, I did not bake them for very long to acheive this goal. My husband thought they were awful. Really. He would not even take the "extra" to work because he didn't want anyone to think I was a bad cook. Sometimes my husband can be very silly.

The kids like them. I think they're kind of ho-hum but that's because I would prefer chocolate chip, which is what the next batch will be.

And in other, other news:

1 week till Advent starts. I am taking the time (I hope) this week to prepare maybe 1 activity per week for us to do this year. Advent is historically a big FAIL around here as far as my wanting to celebrate the season/prepare with the kids/do activities to it actually happening.

November 19th, November 19th!!

2010-11-19T09:25:00.000-06:00

Do you know what today is?

I do! I do!

Too bad I have to wait until next week (at least). I have small children which would not lend itself to the experience.
But I will participate as soon as I can, baby in tow of course. I might even let me husband come.

To all of you who go today - enjoy!! I am sure it will be awesome!!

Ask A Question, Get An Answer

2010-11-17T18:51:00.000-06:00

Can I vent for a minute? Well, of course I can. It's my blog.
In regards to men:

I love my husband dearly. He is a wonderful man who has a very strong sense of duty and honor. He wakes at the wee hours of morning when I am far too scared to brave the day and leaves to work to provide for this family.

He fathers our children, provides me with friendship and companionship, and is an all-around good guy.

Here's my beef (a temporary one, mind you) - I tell him, "I will do whatever you want about (fill in situation here). Just tell me the plan and I'll do it."

He says, "Well, what would *you* like? What would be better for you?" And he proceeds to present two options.

I tell him which one I like, the one that works better for me (because he asked).

He doesn't want to go with that plan.

*Why did you ask me then?* (*hands up in air*)

Men.

Where have all the bloggers gone?

2010-11-17T06:11:00.000-06:00

Is it just me? Or does it seem like all your (my) favorite bloggers are not blogging? My go-to bloggy buddies have been unable to post and my back-up blogs are without frequent updates as well. *sigh* Makes it a little lonely here in cyberland.

Now before I go all preachin' about the importance of updating and make anyone feel all guilty I should mention that I know some of these "lack of updates" are for very good reasons (reasons that have affected me as well).

One of my bloggy buddies is expecting a new wee little one. Those first few months of trying to make a physical person from scratch to go with the soul God created for them are very, very draining. Making people is hard work.

Another bloggy friend I believe no longer has internet access, or at least not high speed. I tried to catch her on Ravelry and it says she hasn't been there in about a month too. *sigh*

Yet another friend I think is just as super busy trying to homeschool and live life as the rest of us.

And the blog that got me interested in blogging hasn't been updated in months (months!, I tell you!). Bonus there is we hooked up on Facebook (which led me to hook up with another blogger on FB....). It's almost as good, as "seeing" her blog. So that's nice.

My point here is: I miss you guys. Just know that I am gonna keep checking in and I am gonna try to blog when I can. I hope to see you all again soon. It's weird how you become "friends" with and feel so close to people you've never met in person (I'd say "real life", but really, it *is* real life because, hey, we're all real people somewhere).

LYS Haul

2010-11-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

A few months back, my mom picked up some gift certificates to three LYS on the television PBS auction. She loves that auction. I got $20 to spend at each store. This isn't enough for much, but I finally made the very, very long drive (over 2 hours) to the LYS on the other side of the big city. At least all 3 were within 1/2 hour of each other.

I got a skein of Madelinetosh Tosh Sock in Lupis. It's really a very beautiful purpley blue color. This particular purchase was one where I had to chip in $8 on top of the gift cert. Totally worth it.

I picked up these two skeins of Cascade 220 Superwash Paints at another store......

.......where I also got this skein of Cascade 220 Superwash Paints. This picture is awful (blame the sun). The yarn is blue, purpley-blue, turquoise, green, and yellow. Very Boy. My mom (thanks Ma!) kicked in the extra $$ for this purchase.

This yarn is from a kit I bought at the last store, which is also a wool mill. It was hard not to leave with an armload of wool from this place. There were piles and piles of yarn everywhere in all different colors, widths, and textures.

I settled on the kit as it gave a wonderful variety of colors for a reasonable price. (I have $2 left to spend there after buying the kit.) It is intended to make a scarf....but I bet it ends up as a little person's sweater. In the picture above there is a skein of purple yarn (second from the right) that refuses to look purple and is masquerading as another skein of blue. Bad yarn. I think each of the mini-skeins is about 20 grams.

Oh. And I'm 30 today! Cool.

New Yarn, New Toys

2010-11-14T16:09:00.000-06:00

My aunt asked me exactly what a "yarn swift" was. I'll show you. First up: a ball winder. The ball winder looks like this in action (and the order of these picutres is the random way blogger loaded them, sorry if it doesn't make sense). This contraption takes your skeins and makes them into pretty "cakes" that pull from the center for knitting.

In the past, I've had to ask/beg for one of the boys (Wobbers or The Man) to hold the skein while I wind it. No more!! I now have a swift:

See Wobbers doing the "thumbs up"? He thinks the swift is much, much better than him holding the yarn. As you wind it onto the ball winder, the swift spins. Magic!

This is the "Whales Road" Malabrigo yarn (in skein form). Pretty and soft. Blues, purples, and a little teal.

This is the "Velvet Grapes" Malabrigo. Sooooo pretty. Very purple, reminds me of the womb from a baby's perspective.

I wish I had better pictures for you - but again, the sun is not cooperating.

This is a sideways picture of all the Malabrigo I got last month in "cakes" (also know as "center pull balls"). I love this yarn.

Up next.....my LYS trip with gift certificates.....

Happy to have internet "friends'

2010-11-13T17:20:00.002-06:00

I am just throwing this extra little "mini" post out to say "Thank you".

It is sooo nice to have internet friends to share my knitting and yarn with. I don't have anyone close by. It's hard when you really want to take the yarn to your friend(s) and say "Look! Look! Look at all this pretty new yarn!!" and there is no one to show.

So, thanks for stopping by!

FO: Lovely Pants

2010-11-13T15:50:00.002-06:00

I finished another pair of longies. These are lovely. I *heart* them. They turned out really, really beautiful.

Of course, you wouldn't know it looking at the pictures. It's a rainy, rainy day here and there is no good light to take pictures in. I tried. I really did.

Got some cute action shots on these though.....

These picutres just don't do the yarn justice. It's a beautiful cherry red, perfectly varigated.
I knit a size large - 8 inch inseam, 18 inch rise (front to back, 10 inches back, 8 inches front). I almost got them out of 1 skein. I had 3 more rows to knit on the second leg when I ran out of yarn! Three rows! And then there's the whole i-cord drawstring....but still. Three rows.

Now I need to decide what size to knit the other two skeins (whales road and velvet grapes.....picture in the next post) in to. I could try to do a large again, with even shorter legs. Or I could just go for a medium and have leftovers to knit some scrappies with.

New Toys

2010-11-09T17:30:00.000-06:00

I got me a yarn swift! It is awesome. The best thing since sliced bread, imo. I can't believe I waited so long to get this.

Now I can wind yarn, by meself, whenever I want. It is sooooooo nice to be able to knit without having to wait (and beg) for someone to help me wind my skeins up.

This is a present to myself for my (BIG) birthday this month. I am hitting one of those "milestone" birthdays. It is a weird age to be. I feel like I have been well into my 40's for about the last 20 years...............and now I am turning 30.

It seems very young to me. I am sure that seems very young to some of you. I feel old.

Crap.....baby is crying. I gotta run. More on this later....and pics of my swift in action!

Yes, I can spell....

2010-11-09T08:21:00.000-06:00

I even know poper grammer. And I homeschool my kis. Scary.

In that last post, made from my phone at 6am, there is a misspelling that is *bugging* me. Yeah, it's bugging me ebough that I'm posting about it. I'd fix it if I could, but I can't - not without getting online and taking lots of time which I don't have.

So instead I am going to passify my OCD brain and use this post to alert you to it and explain why. M'kay? (Yes, I am a little crazy.)

My phone "helps" with grammar/spelling/punctuation to making typing easier and faster. For instance, if you press the space bar twice (instead of once) it will add a period to the end of the last thing you typed. Cool, right? Well, it also adds apostrophes to words. If you type "h" "e" "s" it automatically changes it to "he's". Every. Single. Time.

So, when I typed "lets" it assumed I meant "let's". I didn't do that on purpose, and it changes the meaning of my sentence which I don't like.

"Milk lets down again"

vs

"Milk *Let Us* down again"

The milk NEVER lets us down! Ever!!

Ok. I feel better now.

Cast-Off Haiku

2010-11-09T06:27:00.000-06:00

The Yarn Harlot asked readers to leave a comment with a haiku about casting-off in order to have a chance to win a book. Here's mine:

Such a joy to end
But bittersweet to finish
I cast-off again

I forgot how fun to write they are. In our homeschooling plans this week: Haikus.

Does it continue
This complaining without end?
He'll move out one day

Baby at my breast
Smiling, cooing at me
Blessings at their best

Children in my bed
We cram in here together
A foot in my face

Not even my kid
Is the one whose cries I hear
Milk let's down again

I could go on and
On with these little poems
But I will stop now

Gloves, Mittens, and Glittens

2010-11-08T17:06:00.000-06:00

Here are two more finished objects.

First up are some "glittens", or whatever you call them, for the Wobbers. He loves these gloves. Loves them.

He specifically asked me to knit these for him. He wants to be able to wear them for hunting so the fingers had to be accessable. They also had to be warm. I knit these out of Patons. They turned out pretty nice. They were a PITA to knit, and I won't be doing any gloves again any time soon. ;)

These are my toddler mittens. I really love this pattern. I have decided that they turned out good enough (and I know I said this before, but I mean it this time) that I am going to write up the pattern and make it available on Ravelry. It will be a free pattern. The pictures even turned out nice!

I really loved knitting these. They knit up fast, use about 30 grams of yarn (oh yeah, I got a yarn scale), and are easy for my toddler(s) to put on.
These are also knit in Patons. I think I am going to get some washable wool, either Cascade or Malabrigo (yes! did you know they have a washable wool now??), and knit some more. It might be nice to have a few pairs that can go in the dryer for those days when we play in the snow a lot.

Finally, Really FO

2010-11-07T16:43:00.002-06:00

Today, I "officially" finished my Baby Surprise Jacket. I sewed on the buttons and took gorgeous pictures outside!!

I actually knit this in Jan/Feb 2010, right after I took my positive pregnancy test for Rose. (Baby blog name....other daughter is Flower, so this one is Rose.)

The yarn is Malabrigo Worsted in Amarosa. I knit it on US size 5 (3.75mm) needles. I love, love, love this yarn.

The buttons were purchased at a (not-too) LYS. They are little wooden buttons. I love them too.

I am very glad to have knit this pattern. It was a little boring at times because of all the "knit, knit, knit". Garter stitch is generally not my favorite. But the yarn made it worth it.

My overall impression: Cute, but I'd rather have a Tomten Jacket for all the time put in knitting garter stitch and all the yarn. This particular jacket fits about 6-12 months. It is too big for my baby right now at 7 weeks, but still looks cute on her if I put it on. I don't love the proportions of this jacket. The Tomten, however, fits about 6 months to 2 years (I have a friend that has knit 2 of them, we've been doing a LOT of talking about sizing, fit, etc, in regards to these two designs). For all the time and effort the Tomten seems a more versitile jacket/coat and is waaaaaay cuter.

Now I have to decide if I want to keep this little beauty or not. I have a bunch of mama friends having babies right now that would probably love a hand-knit gift. And I just don't *love* it.

Dropping The Ball

2010-11-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

Crap. I believe I said "every day or every other day.". Well, it's been 4 days. :P

I am realizing I haven't posted because the week started out kinda crappy. Since I didn't post for the week, how about a recap, crap and all?

Monday - My husband's ex-wife somehow managed to convince a judge to award her child support after 8 years of 50/50 placement. She under-reported her income (yes, we (our lawyer) pointed this out to the court, yes we asked that documentation be shown, no they didn't care) and the court "evened-out" the households based on this. Never mind *my* four children who need their father's income. Or the fact that her kids wear designer clothes and we shop at goodwill/st vincent's.

I am trying to keep Faith. Faith that God will not let my family go hungry, that He will not make us choose between electricity and food or gas in the car. Maybe that is the humble lesson for me to take in all this. Maybe He just wants me to let go and Believe.

Tuesday - Haircut. This always happens after the baby comes. I love my hair long, hate it short. But it is now short. I just don't have time for it to be long. It's ok. I feel like I already have a good hold on "old lady hair". You know, short and curly. That's me. I feel like an old lady with this haircut. But it's easy.

We followed the haircut with a super-huge grocery restock in the Big City.

We finished the evening at the polls. Can I just say I am very pleased at how things turned out here. I had posted on my FB page that day the following:

"Fwd: Make sure to forward to all your voting friends. The new law is: Republicans are to vote on Tuesday. Democrats vote on Wednesday."

In our midwestern state, the democrats got the message!

Wednesday - Stayed home all day to recharge from the busy and long previous day. Baby doesn't like to be out that much and she just needed to be in familiar surroundings and be far from the carseat.

I got into a "debate" with some "pro-choicer" on another friend's FB page. My friend (pro-life) had started with a pro-life status/debate/situation. I commented. I said I call pro-choice what it really is: pro-death. Another midwife (really) called me an idiot. She says pro-choice is not pro-death, blah, blah, blah. 69 comments ensued. I had to leave it alone at about the 17 mark to make dinner/do bedtime. A self-defined "pro-life christian" pulled the rape/incest card and would not drop that there HAD to be this exception. It was pretty interesting to read. I wonder how an abortion would un-rape someone? Anyway - I could go on and on about it here.....but instead you'll probably just get some posts regarding abortion in the next few weeks.

Thursday - Local homeschool group. I think I've been meaning to blog about how awesome this is for a while. It just keeps slipping my mind. A new family moved to the area and sought out other homeschoolers. She united those of us that were already here and we've been meeting every week at the local park on Thursday mornings for about 10 weeks. This week we switched to the gym at a local private Lutheran school (one of the families are parishoners there and the pastor homeschooled his kids so they let us use it FOR FREE!!) It's lovely and warm.

It is so nice to fimally know some families. I have made some local friends and I know my 10 year old is loving having some "guys" to play with.

After that we went to go get the teenager from building school and stopped at the chiropractor. It's been a long time since my last adjustment and it was really nice.

On the way home we stopped by the Amish woodshop and picked up a very, very late birthday present for my toddlers. They are constantly fighting over the only chair that we have with our wooden table. For their birthdays (in August) my aunt sent me the money to purchase another. I finally made it there on Thursday. The kids are very excited to each have their own chair.

Oh! And I got my last installment of the Sunshine Yarns Harry Potter Yarn Club in the mail!! "Unforgivable Curse" was the colorway and it is beautiful. I did not like the last two, so I was very happy to like this one. I am trying to trade them on Ravelry for skiens of the latest one. Wish me luck!

Friday (today) - First Friday Mass with our Catholic homeschool group. Boy did I wa to skip this today!! I finally said the following prayer to God after a shitty morning (and a crappy night of sleep last night):

God....I am getting a cold, the kids are fighting, and First Friday Mass is an hour and a half drive away with a newborn that hates cars and no husband to drive me. Today would be a great day to skip Mass. I implore You: I will drive us to Mass. You take care of the rest. Thank You.

And He did!! My baby slept peacefully all the way to town, even with a stop at the gas station. Her Godmother held her all through Mass and she didn't cry. I was able to *kneel* during the Consecration (it's been ages since I could - always holding someone or too pregnant) and I got to put my older daughter in the sling when we stood which she loved. My 2 year old boy clung to his "godsister" all through Mass and managed to not get into too many things. :) I am going to have to ask for God's direct help more often.

How was your week?

Baby Pictures

2010-11-01T15:36:00.002-05:00

I know I love baby pictures.....thought you might like to see them too. Or are baby pictures only super cute when it's your own baby?? Whichever. Here are some.

Ha! Love it!

This is a baby hat I made for here. You can see specifics here on my ravelry project page.

This picture really caught me eye when I was picking out which ones to post. If you can look closely, or somehow enlarge it (I am not tech savvy, so I have no idea) you can see that the baby's eyes are crossed. It's cute. She kind of has that, "What the heck are you doing?" look about her face.

And my little Flower with her baby sling on. She has one kitty in the back and one in the front. Seriously too cute.

Wanted: Morning Motivation

2010-10-31T07:27:00.000-05:00

I am not a morning person. Even as a little kid I despised mornings and longed for late nights. I used to stay up late to watch "All in the Family" after the news from the hallway (so my parents wouldn't see me still up).

In high school, I would only give myself enough time to brush my teeth before I headed out the door to catch the city bus in whatever clothes I found on the floor. I would get up at 7:55 to make it there by the 8:10 bell. Often times I was late so I just decided to skip and I would stay home and sleep. At this point All in the Family re-runs were cancelled and I instead watched Patrick Stewart in "Star Trek: The Next Generation". Loved that show, but it didn't come on until 12:35am (this was before the DVR craze).

I still struggle with mornings. As the days get colder, it gets harder to convince myself to crawl out of my nice warm covers into shocking frigidness that is "morning". I catch myself barganing in my head as to what activities I can skip in order to sleep more and still get out of the house on time (when we have to be somewhere, like today, Church).

"If I don't eat breakfast, I can reset the alarm for 15 minutes later."

"The kids can eat cold cereal and milk in the car. After all, we'll be driving for an hour and a half."

"A ponytail will do. Skipping the shower buys me another 1/2 hour in bed."

Seriously. I do this.

Not to say that there aren't plently more mornings where I give in, grudgingly, and just Get Up. Now that I have very active toddlers it's kind of hard *NOT* to get up. My main motivation is, "Why is it so quiet out there?" That's never good. ;)

I also fight the urge at night to get up out of bed once the kids are asleep and spend a few night-owl hours to myself, knitting or reading or going online. (I have learned that if I want to even *think* about getting up in the morning, I better just stay put and go to sleep.)

So I pose a question for all you "Morning People" - How do you do it? Why do you do it?

Or maybe better yet, I should pose these questions to the other Non-Morning People (especially the non-morning moms)?? How do you do it? What motivates you to fight against your natural desire to sleep-in? How do you combat the promise of a warm comforter over the reality of cool morning air against you exposed skin?

Something Old, Something New

2010-10-30T14:37:00.000-05:00

I want to try something "new", although really it's not new.

I am going to *try* to write something daily or every other day.

I am going to stop feeling like I have to be witty or funny or have some deep meaning behind a post just to put it up.

I am going to use my phone to post, if I must, to make this happen. It is a lot more work getting out the laptop and hooking it all up. I use that as an excuse to not post pretty often.

I may post random, useless things. I may post something that touches something in my heart or yours. I may simply be annoying.

But dang it - I like to write. It is good to put something, well not "on paper", but out there. It feels good to me. And I like reading other blogs that have a post everyday (or every other) even when they are not "super deep" every post.

I am giving myself permission to not worry about what anyone else thinks, especially ME, about my writing. I also will not worry about short posts or long posts or not having a picture or having no access to pictures (like on this phone!) To post, or bad formatting or bad spelling.

Whew. That feels better already.

Should This Bother Us?

2010-10-29T18:03:00.000-05:00

I have no intention of getting rid of my microwave *any* time soon. It is a necessity item in our house with a new baby.

That said.....

I do wonder about said "appliance". Obviously, food can be heated up on the stove, in the oven, or even in a crockpot.

Let's say I were to heat up something in the oven. I take it out. I turn the oven off. If I put my hand in the oven right away I would feel heat, possibly burn myself if I touched any part of it.

If I heat something up in the microwave, the food comes out hot but the space in the microwave is cold.

That makes me wonder exactly what the heck is going on in there???!

I know, I know....it has to do with some kind of waves-type-thing radiating or causing molecules to move around and heat up or whatever (I know it has to be a fat, water, or protien molecule to react, that's why paper doesn't "burn" or anything in there).

But when you think too hard about it - it's really, really weird. W-E-I-R-D.

By Myself

2010-10-25T14:22:00.000-05:00

Today is the day my husband returns to work (or shall I say "returned" as he has been there since 6am?).

I am alone, with the kiddos.

I had big plans and expectations for myself today. I thought, by the sheer power of my awesomeness, our day would look something like this:

5:30am - Mom wakes up and packs Dad's lunch while he finishes dressing. Mom writes sexy love note and puts it in Dad's lunch for him to find later.

5:45am - Dad and Mom make out for a few minutes before he leaves while kids sleep peacefully in bed.

5:55am - Dad leaves for work and Mom joins kids in slumberland.

8:00am - Baby wakes up to nurse. Once satisfied, other children wake up.

8:30am - Diapers changed all around. Everyone dressed and ready to eat. Brealfast time.

9:00am - Dishes done. Laundry started. Blues Clues in and homeschool started.

9:00am to 11:00am - Nurse baby and fold laundry while toddlers play to learn and Mom "teaches" 10 year old his schoolwork. 10 year old is cooperative and loves to learn.

11:00am - kids go outside to play while mom prepares lunch and nurses/change baby.

12:00pm - Lunch, healthy with 1 protien, 2 fruits/veggies, 1 carb and milk or juice (for non-milk drinkers or toddlers who love OJ)

12:30pm clean up and diaper changes

1:00pm - Toddler nap time. "Big girl" 4 year old gets to stay up and color while 2 year old naps. Baby naps peacefully at same time while Mom finishes folding laundry and catches up on her blog. Then mom knits leisurely while 10 year old cheerfully completes schoolwork.

Sounds great! Right?

Except it went like this:

5:30am - Mom wakes up to Dad trying to find a pair of socks and 2 year old's feet in her face. Mom goes to bathroom and comes back to bed to nurse baby.

5:45am - Dad kisses all the kids on the forehead and then Mom's forehead before he leaves for work.

5:50am - 6:15am - Mom tries to fall back asleep but is pestered by the idea that the baby is going to wake up again as soon as she falls asleep.

7:30am - 2 year old wakes up. Says "Where's Daddy?" and crawls out of bed and runs from room, presumably to look for said "Daddy."

7:35ish - 2 year old slips ice cold hands under mom's arm that is holding baby and says "Up." Mom pulls toddler into bed and pulls blankets up.

9:00am - Baby wakes up to nurse. Mom realizes it's freakin' 9am (!) And looks around for other kids who have been up by 8 everyday for a week. Two toddlers are laying next to her. Whew.

9:15am - Get toddler #1 a cup of OJ. Toddler #2 a glass of milk. Poor dry cheerios into a paper bowl and place on toddler table. Yell downstairs for 10 year old to wake up. Sit down to nurse baby again.

9:45am - Realize you haven't changed diapers yet. Crap.

10:00am - Clean diapers and clothes for little ones. Baby sleeping for a few minutes. Get dishes done. Yell at 10 year old to feed dog amd flip laundry. Promptly facebook from your phone that it will be a good day.

10-12 - evaluate the chaos around you and be humbled that everyone ate today. Crap - except you.

12:00pm - Tell boy to start lunch. You can't because the baby won't stop crying. Tell him to put away schoolwork b/c he must learn to obey (he hasn't beeb all morning) before we can jump back into school.

1:30 - Thank God for Mac&Cheese, fishsticks, and chicken nuggets.

2:00pm - Start to lose it as you realize you just need a nap. Change baby diaper while 10 year old changes 2 year old. Tell 10 year old to watch a movie with 4 year old while you try to get 2 year old and baby to sleep at the same time, by yourself! Ah!

2:05pm - 2 year old is banging head on locked door to your room (he's locked IN with you) while you nurse baby and pray everyone just falls asleep.

That's more like it!!

How is your day?

:)

Still Kickin'

2010-10-20T19:46:00.000-05:00

It seems like the longer you go without blogging, the harder it is to jump back in.

Each day I probably have 2-3 post ideas swimming around in my head, some of them even get fully thought out word for word. I want to blog often, but the needs of those around me seems to increase exponentially once the computer is turned on.

There is no shortage of incidences that can warrant a post of their own happening around here. Life with 3 kids under the age of 4 and one adolescent 10 year old boy is kickin' my butt.

~My baby girl is soooo big! When my midwife came to weigh her at 2 weeks old (when the medical community wants babies up to their birth weight) she was 10 lb 2 oz - almost 2 lbs bigger than birth!! She is now about 11 lbs at 4 weeks.

~The size "small" longies that I knit no longer fit. Mediums fit ok over the cloth diapers or on their own, but I need to knit some new longies. I am leaning towards larges. Next baby (if that happens) I will just start with mediums.

~So of course I ordered new yarn! Mmmmmmalabrigo! I love Malabrigo. I got one skien each of "Whales Road" and "Velvet Grapes" and 2 skiens of "Little Lovely". I ordered it on Monday and it came today. Fast shipping!! I will take some pretty picks soon (if I can) Whales Road is just as beautiful and glorious as I thought it would be!! I am totally knitting a sweater for myself sometime in that colorway. Little Lovely is something I always thought looked ugly in pictures. In person it is gorgeous.

~i have also been knitting a hat for my little baby, my boys sweaters, and rethinking my LOTR socks.

~My baby cries. A lot. This is not something I have experienced before. I do everything I can think of, and she still cries. It's kind of hard. But I love her. And I just keep cuddling her, holding her, changing her, nursing her, wearing her, sleeping with her, and kissing her.

~i typed this up in the car (not driving, just riding) on my blackberry. Excuse typos and weird spelling. ;) I hope to be "back" soon.

What I've Been Up To......

2010-10-05T14:46:00.002-05:00

Lovey says, "Baby Sister."

She opened her eyes, for a minute.

Closed again. But Cute.

Taking baths.

Supervising naps. It's an important job.

Small Successes and Randomness: New Mom - TMI Edition

2010-09-26T18:24:00.000-05:00

*As stated above, some of this is "TMI". Read at your own discretion.*

1. I managed to take 2 showers this week, one of them with my newborn.

2. After a week of sore nipple nursing, the scabs finally healed and fell off my nipples. Life is much better now.

3. Hemorrhoids are truely a PITA. I am not sure I have ever endured any quite like what I have right now. I am being comforted by a bottle of witch hazel at every bathroom break.

4. I finished the sweater I was working on for Flower this week. I had almost had it finished while I was in labor, but then things got too intense. I can't link here (on the blackberry), but it is up on my Ravelry project page. It is a purple sweater to match her purple mittens.

5. Yesterday, I brushed my teeth. First time this week.

6. Oh - I gave birth, without drugs, without intervention, in the comfort of my own home once again. That would be a big "success".

7. I put some pictures of my dughter on Facebook for family to see. (Now if I could just load some here and/or remember to email some to Aunt.)

Quick Pics

2010-09-19T17:44:00.002-05:00

Birth story coming soon.....these are all I have time for now!! She does have a name but not a "blog" name yet. :)

She's Here!

2010-09-18T13:38:00.000-05:00

Baby came this morning at 6:45 am after 2 hours of the most intense labor I've ever experienced. Turned out she was posterior. Labor was so fast there was no time for pool or birth pictures.

I will post pics soon. (On my blackberry now.) Thanks for all the prayers!!

8lb 6oz 20 3/4 inches long
My biggest baby yet. :)

Queue, Interrupted

2010-09-15T19:19:00.003-05:00

Remember that grand plan I had to work on specific projects until they were done (namely this one and this one)? Um, yeah......well....uh....I'm not really sure what happened.

Ok, I do know. Knitting sweaters for men/boys is kind of boring. I have been working on the hubby's sweater and Wob's sweater for, it seems like, ever. I needed something pretty and fun to work on. I started the LOTR Socks. That was fun, for a while. I finished the first sock and have no motivation yet to cast on the second (I think b/c the first one is a little big, whatever).

So when my Little Flower said, "I want purple mittens and a purple sweater," I was overcome with joy!! Toddler mittens, a one day project.

They started out like this:

Then I added these when I could not sleep through the night:

And this is her cute little response:

She LOVES them!! And I love them. You can read details about them here. I made 3, modifying after the first one. I didn't use a pattern, just cast on 32 stitches and went from there. I wanted them to fit but still be loose enough that she could get them on without help. (If anyone is seriously interested in the pattern, which really did come out very, very well, I could type it up and post it. Just leave me a comment.)

So, then what? Go back to the boy sweaters? in the boring "hunter greenie" colors? Nope. I cast on yet another project that is not in my queue: a sweater for my Little Flower. This will not be a one day knit, but I like it. I am actually using the same Patons Wool yarn that I used for the mittens. Not my first choice for sweaters, but the more I use the Patons in my stash, the more I think it's an OK yarn. If I really love the sweater, maybe she'll get a second one in Malabrigo (I have 4 or 5 skeins in a pretty, girly pink).

And I'm still knitting a baby. Due next week. Love for her to come now. The last two were here by now. :)

What are you knitting?

Worst Church Banner Ever

2010-09-13T14:09:00.003-05:00

Do I even need to say anymore?? (As if church banners aren't tacky enough in and of themselves.)

H/T to The Crescat

Yes, Still Pregnant

2010-09-09T01:27:00.002-05:00

I just thought I'd mention quickly that I am still pregnant.

After 3 days of intense cleaning at my house, organizing diapers, re-organizing diapers, finding teeny-tiny baby clothes in bins scattered around the house, ordering around my family to help me, complaining about the house not being clean enough, lanolizing about 12 wool pants/soakers, and fretting over some "things" I still need (a diaper pail for dirty diapers, chux pads, something to organize kid toys in) I am still not in labor.

I really thought all that cleaning would work.

So, instead of being sassy-pants mad about it, I have taken my energy and done something productive - we started school this week. I even kind of got us on a "schedule". I made a big move and decided no more sleeping in till 11 or 12. We have been up at 10 everyday (which I know probably sounds really late to most of you, but that is very early for me and the kids when I am this pregnant.....when not pregnant usually we're up by 7 or 8) for the last 3 days.

Tomorrow (um, I guess that's TODAY), we will be up at 9 to make it to the park to meet some local homeschool families at 10. I am really excited about this. We have lived here for over a year and I still don't really know anyone who lives near us except the midwives I work with. To see any other children or any adults I know we have been driving at least 45 min to 1 hour to the "big city" to visit. It will be really wonderful to get to know some families around here, in the boonies.

Along with getting up at the same time everyday, Lovey has had a nap everyday and I have cooked lunch. I know, weird right? Just trying to make everyone feel a little normal for once. I have been a major slacker with this pregnancy. I need to get it together. Of course, my husband thinks I'm nuts. He knows I will just be laying in bed and nursing when the babe gets here so he really doesn't get why I am going so crazy to have everything be "normal" now when it will change in the next 10 days sometime. I don't know why I am doing it either, but it is making me feel better at least mentally.

I promise to post once the wee one arrives. For now, I am just patiently waiting.

New Blogs and Socks

2010-09-09T01:02:00.002-05:00

I have finally added some much deserved links to the sidebar.

Let me introduce you to:

Juggling Eric, a Man Blog

N*ked on the Roof, a BatShitCrazy Blog

and

Abigail's Alcove, a Keeping Me Sane Blog

I have been reading the first two for a couple of months/weeks. I just found Abigail's blog yesterday.

Juggling Eric is a dad to 5 great kids and husband to a very patient wife. His insights into parenthood are spot-on and entertaining (especially if you have kids, I can totally relate to this guy). Good writing.

N*ked On the Roof has me completely cracking up and almost peeing my pants every time I tune in. This guy is very funny and does it in a smart way. None of the "this is funny just because it's gross or I say gross things or I act stupid" kind of funny that is running rampant in the world today. Nope. He's got humour covered in a good way, a way the brings the punch line on at just the right moment.

Abigail is a Catholic mom of 4 living in the DC area blogging about her vocation, poverty, faith, and prayer. This is a real gem of a find. I have been reading through her archives the past two evenings and I can't get enough.

Enjoy these blogs! Stop by and leave them a comment if you can. Abigail could use some prayers right now. She just gave birth to baby 4 and she is in the NICU recovering from abdominal surgery.

~~~~~~

An update on the socks: I did rip them and reknit. I added 6 stitches and went up a needle size. They fit! I am on the gusset of the first sock. Pics when it's done.

Admit Defeat?

2010-09-05T22:29:00.003-05:00

Sometimes knitting has built in stumbling blocks. Or maybe "humbling" blocks is a better phrase?

I have been working like crazy on my LOTR Socks (Rivendell Socks).

I read a lot of other raveler's comments on their projects before I started. One that I can't get out of my head is the lady who only knit one sock and then sold it to her LYS because she felt like it was "inside out" the entire time she was knitting it. I must admit, I have never purled this much on a project before.

Another comment (which I saw many, many times) was that the socks came out a little small. With all that purling and those twisted knit stitches, the calves seemed to be coming out a bit tight for most knitters.

"Well," I thought. "I am a loose knitter. This really shouldn't be a problem for me."

Yeah. Uh-huh.

When I was knitting the cuff, which is only on 63 stitches btw (and I decided to use size 0 needles, because I knit "loose" and the yarn is pretty thin), I thought, "Hmmm. That does look a bit small. But look.....when I stretch it out, it's pretty big. Yeah....knitting stretches. Duh." And, I just kept on knitting.

I am enamored by this pattern and this yarn. I have coveted the pattern for a long time and finally bought it once I found the perfect yarn, not too varigated, not too plain, light beautiful colors that smoothly run together and won't over power the pattern. (This one is called Beach Fog, and is a bluish color with a faint teal and little bits of light purple and orange woven through.)

I just kept knitting, even as my mind said, "Ya know, it looks a little small." "Shut up!" I told myself. "That's just silly. You're almost done with the first chart. Keep going."

At the end of the first chart, I tried it on. I could get it over my heel. And it was pretty. And it didn't feel that tight on my calve. Keep knitting.

I knit the second chart. Cabling, twisted stitches. I love it. It's soooo wonderful, even though historically I will do almost anything to avoid purling.

"It's going to be too tight," that little voice in the back of my head said.

"SHUT UP!"

Knit. Knit. Knit.

I love this pattern. I love this yarn.

I just finished the second chart and set up the heel. I have knit about an inch of the heel flap. The heel flap construction has pros and cons. Pro - It is back & forth knitting without slipped stitches so it gains height faster than most other heels I have knit. Con - It is ktbl (knit through the back loop), p2 ribbing.....and on wrong side rows it's k2, ptbl ribbing. That is a PITA.

I decided to try it on again. Notice the photos in this post are of the sock on my arm. Why is that, you ask?

Well. My calves just aren't as dainty as they used to be. I can get the sock on and over my heel (without too much trouble even). However, up by those wrapped stitches at the top of the cuff, it's a little tight. Really, it looks silly. Like I have fat legs sticking out the top of the sock.

"That doesn't look too bad," the knitting part of my brain said.

"Shut up! It looks weird!" the little voice in the back of my head said. You know the voice, the honest one?

My dilemma - do I just keep knitting it?

I could keep knitting this to specs (the pattern) and then make a second sock with adjustments, AND THEN rip the first sock and fix it??? (Can you tell I am really liking knitting this pattern?)

Or I could rip it now, and try to figure out how to "fix" it right away(the pattern is 3 repeats of a 21 stitch chart, so I cannot just add another repeat, it would be huge, I'll actually have to think about where to add some stitches, I've got some ideas)???

Do I just make the socks to pattern and wear them a little tight, probably pushed down around my ankles so no one can see how tight they are over my calves??

Do I Admit Defeat?

Blogging in Bed

2010-09-04T11:33:00.000-05:00

That's right. I am still (at 11:30am) laying in bed. It's a beautiful day outside. I am waiting for my little ones to wake up so we can tackle the day. I am even thinking about *gasp* going to the park. (Yes, actually leaving the house.)

I cast on Rivendell last night. I knit the entire 1st chart on the cuff (35 rounds) and started the second. It looks a little small, but I can get it over my heel.

I love the yarn. Winding it turned into a big deal, again. And it shouldn't have. This was a perfectly good skein for winding - no twists, no tangles, just beautiful.

My husband refused to help so I made Wobbers do it. At the very end, he got excited and started winding too fast and pulled the last 15 yards or so right off my arms. Ahhh!! So, I ended up with a big tangled mess. I worked on the tangle for TWO HOURS. Yes, two hours. Finally, I decided I probably would have "extra yarn" when the socks were done and I cut the yarn. I untangled my 15 yards and wound an itty-bitty ball by hand. Whew.

The yarn is DIC Smooshy - a free skein I got on one of my EatSleepKnit Lotto cards. It's a superwash wool. Does anyone else notice a difference in the hand of superwash vs regular wool?? I swear I can tell there is some kind of "processing" just by the feel (I mean, I know there is b/9 its superwash.....I am just wondering if I am the only one that can *feel* it when handling the yarn). It's a little weird. But I definitely LOVE the colors!

Oh - seems one of the babes is stirring. Time to get the day going. :)

Things are Looking UP

2010-09-02T21:57:00.004-05:00

I seem to have found a whole new set of happiness today. I am not sure where it came from, but there it is.

Yeah, I am still really uncomfortable (physically) but that can only mean that this baby is making her way out soon. :) I have a new found energy to bleach my bathtub (don't worry, hubby did it so I wasn't inhaling fumes), buy washcloths and a new shower curtain, and get all my diapers out, washed, and folded. I also need to lanolize the wool soakers and longies I knit.

(I realize I just typed "buy washcloths". I know...I could knit some, right? I don't have super-soft cotton appropriate for that. And after we use the new washcloths on the baby we can wash them and everyone can use them. I either buy a few new towels or washcloths for each new babe.)

I am also really super, duper anxious to cast on something new!! I really want to start my Rivendell Socks - like RIGHT NOW. But no one will help me wind the yarn. I just need to get this beautiful skein of DIC Smooshy (Beach Fog - love it!) wound up and a-sock-knitting I will be.

You know you love the Beach Fog!

And this is the sock.....sorry for the tiny thumbnail.

Oh, and I found this really beautiful yarn over at Susan B Anderson's blog that is discontinued.....and then found 2 skeins on Ravelry. No, I will not tell you what it is because I WANT IT FOR ME. Although, I am not really in a good place to buy more yarn right now. But it's sooooo pretty.

I keep checking the mail for my needles to arrive. I swapped another raveler for the size I needed. Hers are already there.....mine, not so much.

AND, in the mail I am looking for my first shipment for the Harry Potter Yarn Club from Sunshine Yarns. This is the first time I have ever done a "yarn club". I did some research before hand and checked out all the yarns from the last 7 rounds of the club. I liked every single one of the colorways, so I put my faith in that and signed up (months ago). I thought it would be nice to have some yarn arrive at my house while I was sitting at home nursing my baby.

Oh.....other knitting stuff.....

I got two books from the library that had patterns in them I ran into either on blogs or Ravelry.

The first one is Vintage Baby Knits. (Little tiny thumbnail picture there, sorry.)

While I did think a lot of the patterns in it were cute, I wasn't super impressed with any of them. Mostly, I think, it's because I do not like knitting pieces of garments and then sewing them up. Every single pattern in there was knit in pieces, so that just turned me off. I *did* really like the "Duckie Onesie" and I am sure I could convert it and knit it in the round....but that would be a small pain in the @$$, so no. Cute stuff, but nothing that I've never seen before. So, I took it back the next day.

I also picked up Closely Knit. I actually would maybe knit a few of the patterns out of this book. It is full of gift ideas. The garments in it are knit in pieces, but that could be fixed. Again, not any garments that I've never seen before. I do like a few of the baby pieces, especially the charts for the duckies and the kangaroo. I like some of the blankets in the book, which is weird b/c I haven't ever actually knit a blanket and the task seems daunting. There is also a really cute pair of knee socks, a hat and scarf set that are pretty original looking (to me), and even a cardigan I think is cute. I'll be keeping this one for a few days and reading more closely through the patterns to see what I think of their construction.

Hmmmm.....what else??

My brother is still with us, until the 7th. Things are going good with him too. He got his c-spine cleared, so no more collar. He's pretty happy about that. They cut some of the bands out of his mouth so he can move his jaw a teeny tiny bit. It's enough to get a straw between his teeth so we have been experimenting with different pureed foods (he hasn't had "food" in about 2 weeks). So far, creamy Campbell's soups are the best, closely followed by pureed scrambled eggs with cheese.

Thanks for the comments of encouragement and prioritizing regarding this little stepping stone in my life. I finally just let go and let God (which I did a long time ago with him......the whole "almost dying - accident" thing just had me backstep a little bit). My brother is probably going to continue drinking (in fact, he had a beer when we stopped at his place after all the dr's appts the other day) and there isn't anything I can do about it (which I know, have always known, just let my hopes get up with the accident thing). But, I can help right now by being here for him. He knows he can always reach out to me in the future if he wants some help finding "help" to get clean.

Where Have I Been?

2010-08-30T12:07:00.003-05:00

Busy week around here with a cranky mama, that's where.

My brother came to stay with us on Friday. Yep. I am really happy to have him "home". Although, that won't stop me from ranting about why he is here. As much as I believe it is better that he is here than with my mom, I still can't get over her behavior.

My mom travels. A lot. She had a vacation planned to Las Vegas for a two week stay to include the UNLV football game vs. UW Badgers. She was supposed to leave the day after my brother's jaw surgery.

A normal mother would have just canceled the trip. Especially when it is to a place where you have been (not exaggerating here) 50 times already in your life. And, even more especially when money is really not a problem and being out a couple hundred bucks on airfare is really no big deal.

But, we do not have a normal mother. She "had to pay $140!!" to reschedule her trip to begin on Saturday instead of Wednesday (yes, she complained about the $140, or at least her husband did) AND THEN......went on to say all week before she left "Oh, I am SOOOOO glad JT is coming to stay with you. I need a break. This is so hard for me. It's not fair. I just can't deal with this."....blah, blah, blah.....

You know, I am not exactly sure how I managed to become a loving mother to my children with the kind of mom that raised me. *sigh*

(She called once she landed in LV on Saturday and *complained* about the long plane trip and then went on to tell me how wonderful her margarita and cigarette were and how awesome it would be to "finally relax". Makes me want to puke.)

My brother seems really happy here with my children. He is constantly scooping up one of the little kids and cuddling with them. He smiles. He is even talking a little bit - well, what he can do with his jaw wired shut. The pain seems to get a little better everyday.

I got my brother to come to Mass. This is a big deal, I think. He made it through the homily before he asked me for the car keys to go wait outside. Baby steps.

My great expectations regarding my brother's future behavior are wearing thin. As happy as I am to have him here, and as happy as I am to see him getting better.....he is slowing trying to go back to his own ways. I am trying to stay optimistic, but it is what it is. He is smoking again. Not as much as he would if he were not recovering from major surgery, but still.

AND, what makes me really sad (but was I maybe a little naive thinking this wouldn't happen at some point?? I really hoped it wouldn't).......he managed to have a few shots of Jager (a seriously gross liquor, if you ask me) yesterday too.

I know, you are wondering how he managed to get alcohol if he is staying with me and has to drink everything from a syringe? When we were in the Big City (where he lives) for Mass, he wanted to stop by his place to pick up something he forgot. No big deal. He was inside for about 15 minutes. I felt very guilty wondering what he was "doing" during those 15 minutes. I admitted to my husband that I was worried he was "smoking something" - and not cigarettes. Once I said this out loud, I immediately felt bad for doubting his ability to stay clean while he recovered. Well, turns out he wasn't smoking anything. When he got back in the car, he freely told us that he had a few shots (and almost choked on the first one). He thought this was OK since he hasn't had a drink in over a week.

*SIGH* I don't know what I am supposed to do, if anything, in this kind of situation. But, it is what it is. I can pray (I am). And I did tell him that he is an adult and can make his own decisions - but I think in his current condition drinking (and smoking) is not a very good idea.

Of course, now that we are back at my place, there is no alcohol. So he is stuck for at least another week until my mom gets home. :)

I have become a super crabby annoying person to live with. I am sorry that my brother has to be here to witness this. ;) My husband is really sick of my attitude (I am certain). My kids are trying hard to deal. I just gotta make it a few more weeks. I am super sick of being poked in places that one shouldn't feel poking. I can't sleep. My legs hurt, my hips hurt. I can't poop. I am bitchy. Sorry guys. On a "happy" note, my husband says that I get really, really bad the few days before I go into labor. And then I have the baby and I am happy, happy, happy (and he will insert here that I go on to ignore him for 6 months....sorry babe).

I love Ravelry. Don't we all? I needed a size 4 circ needle and don't have the money AND couldn't find one online (in the length I need) (probably a good thing since I don't have the money). So, I put a post up in the "USED EQUIPMENT" forum offering to trade a size 0 47" circ that I have for a size 4 24" circ......and someone has one they want to trade!! Yes!! I am mailing her the size 0 today. And I am getting a great Addi Needle in return. LOVE RAVELRY.

New Project? I am trying to just work on the two sweaters. I have 2 sleeves completed on each sweater and I started the body on my husband's sweater. But seriously, I really need to start something for myself, or at least something fun and with color (because both of the sweaters are dark and green). I am trying to stay within my queue so I either need to cast on the FLS, some socks (for me) or my HP bag. Any suggestions?? (Disclaimer here: I feel like this is not a bad thing, since I only have the other two projects on my needles. 3 is not so bad. Unfortunately for me, my husband refuses to help me wind yarn for another project until his sweater is done. I will have to recruit one of the kids.)

Knitted Gift. My dear, dear knitting buddy and friend knit the cutest top ever for my new babe!! I am so happy. It is out of Malabrigo Silky in a colorway that I have coveted forever. I will post a pic soon.

Shawl FO Pics

2010-08-23T07:39:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my 2 and 3 year old models!!

Untitled Rant

2010-08-22T07:09:00.002-05:00

This post is intended for me to vent. If you are uninterested in a rant, come back later and I am sure there will be some happy knitting related post or something (actually I can guarantee it b/c I need to put up pictures of the finished shawl).

My brother is "home". That is to say, he is staying at my mom's house. His jaw surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. He is going to stay with her until then and then come to my house after surgery to recover.

I stopped by yesterday to see him. He is looking better. The swelling in his face is going down and he is able to get some good fluids in him. His teeth are his main source of pain right now and even talking (especially those sounds where your tongue has to touch your teeth to make them) hurts a lot.

He gave me all of his discharge papers to read so I would know what was going on, and to help explain to him a little what all of his follow up appts and instructions were for.

Yesterday was his first night out of the hospital. Amazingly, my mom and he listened to me when I said, "Make a chart for his medication(s) and check them off when he takes them." He has multiple medications for pain and infection fighting. Some are every 4 hours, some every 6, etc. They are all in liquid form so he can't use one of those pill-counter box things to keep track. It is very important that he stay on top of his pain so that it does not get out of control. If he is not able to manage the pain, he runs the risk of misusing the medication and possible becoming addicted.

So.......I stopped by yesterday. Then I went grocery shopping and came home. He was looking forward to watching the Packers play last night. I decided to call over there after I got the groceries put away (around 11PM). I just wanted to see how he was and let them know I'd probably come by today after Mass.

My mom's husband answered the phone. He was obviously drunk. She was "out with her friends". JT was sleeping. I endured 15 minutes of his babble, mostly to try and ask about JT. Her husband joked about how he was "babysitting". He also said, "Well, the chart is here and he should have had his medicine an hour ago. But he's been sleeping for hours. I am not waking him up. He is being rejuvenated." I asked him, well kind of tried to convince him, to wake him up. But, of course, in his drunken excellence he knows everything and told me it would just be best to let him sleep as long as he can.

This is a point I really pounded into my mother before she brought him home from the hospital (and one of the reasons I am glad he stayed there as long as he did). Pain management and infection control are VERY IMPORTANT. Important enough to wake someone up for. He needs to take the meds on time, every time.

As you can imagine, I am very frustrated. I cannot believe that it is that hard to stay home with your son and take care of him. I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting to do everything they can for their child (adult child or kid) in this situation. It isn't like she has to go to work, or has any little ones to take care of. Her only "job" really in this caretaker situation is to make sure she wakes him up to take medication if he is sleeping. When he is up, he seems to have a pretty good handle on using the chart and knowing when he needs to take meds. Oh, and maybe she has to throw some milk and carnation instant breakfast in a blender a few times a day.

Is that really so hard? For your son? I just don't get it. I know part of that has to do with the bonds I have developed with my children that she just doesn't have with us (my brother and I). I know that part of it is her history of abandonment with us. I know that she really doesn't know how to relate to anyone, especially her children, in a *normal* situation. It still really bothers me a lot.

This is a situation where it is completely acceptable and appropriate to focus attention and care on your adult child. Unfortunately, she spends so much time giving him inappropriate attention/care that now she feels like it is just "too much". (In the "not hit by a car" life - she enables my brother's addictions and enables him to not have a job/grow-up/be an adult. Most of the time she caters to his every whim, chauffeuring him around and buying him whatever he needs, be it cigarettes, toilet paper, food, clothes, or booze.)

I am just feeling really frustrated and a little helpless right now. I am very angry with my mom. The worst part is, I am sure she was out drinking. So not only did she leave my brother alone with her drunk husband for hours on end, by the time she got home last night, she was probably drunk too and unable to give optimal care to my brother. What a great example to try and help him NOT DRINK while he is recovering, right? Yeah.

But I am sure she convinced herself she "deserved" a night out since she'd been going to the hospital to visit him everyday. Uh-huh. Because when you put time in taking care of someone you (supposedly) love it's just so you can "earn" time to yourself. Right. And take off when they actually need you, when there aren't any nurses or doctors to come in and check on him.

Blocking and Thinking

2010-08-19T23:35:00.002-05:00

Here it is. All pinned out. That was a PITA. I am pretty sure I am done with laceweight yarn. Maybe. Ya never know.

And I am still thinking of my brother. Here is another picture of him with my youngest son, this summer at the amusement park. (Back before I buzzed Lovey's hair.)

Love you, J.T. Praying for you still.

Knit Through All Crisis

2010-08-19T19:38:00.003-05:00

These words of wisdom come from Elizabeth Zimmermann. What wonderful words they truly are.

Crisis is going on here. But first, a happy thought. Two years ago today was the homebirth of my second son, Lovey. His "name" really fits his personality as he is the most loving, caring, and cuddly baby I have had to date. He still enjoys just cuddle time with me and will gladly go anywhere I go to be alone just to be with me (especially the shower!). Seems my waterbirth baby is really in love with the water and his gentle beginning seems to have made a lasting impression.

I love you! May your 3rd year being in my arms be as wonderful and joy filled as your last two!!

And now, onto crisis......and knitting......

I give you Summer Surprise. It is done. DONE, I tell you. This is a picture of it pre-blocking. It is currently in a nice bath with some Eucalan waiting for me to get off the computer so it can get pinned out and dry.

What a long journey this shawl has been. When I think of how many stitches and hours have been put into this it makes me tired.

Oh, and the crisis? That is what pushed me to knit those last 5 rows when I just couldn't focus on anything else and there was nothing for me to do.

This is my brother. He is 28 years old, just 16 months younger than I am. Last night, he was crossing the street around 10pm and was struck by a car. I got a call from my mom a little while later and then called the ER to talk to one of the nurses.

At that time, he had only been in the ER for about 20 minutes. He didn't have any obvious "life threatening" injuries at that time, but she said he was pretty bloody and they were still doing tests/CAT scans/X-rays to check for fractures/internal bleeding. His teeth were messed up and he had lots of cuts and scrapes everywhere.

Turns out, his jaw is severely fractured and the bones in his face are shattered. His teeth are all, I don't even know what to call them, very much not in the right places. He broke his collar bone (they think) and his ear continues to bleed (from the inside) from an unknown cause.

At 10:30 last night, with kids still awake and me an hour and a half from the hospital, there was really nothing I could do but sit and wait for a phone call. I was seriously torn between wanting to be there for my brother and wanting to take care of my family.

My mother was able to go right away. That is a relief, but also at the same time kind of hard. She has a very dramatic personality. So much so that I though he was dead when I first spoke with her b/c she was freaking out so much. That is just how she is. She stayed with him through the night. I still really wish I could have been there to speak with the doctors/nurses in charge of his care and treatment. Having a medical background (previous nursing, registered EMT, and midwifery training), I am able to ask questions about his care/treatment that I know would not occur to someone else to ask. It makes it very hard to step back.

Today, I was able to go to the hospital for 2 hours. He looks awful. He is unable to speak or eat/drink. I sent my mom off to get some food and maybe a shower.

Seeing him in the bed brought a swell of emotions I was not ready for. Growing up as we did, dealing with abandonment, abuse, and constant changing conditions has lead us both in very different directions in our lives. He never really has been able to get over what happened in our childhoods and has turned to many different addictions to cope. He has never really had a job, a girlfriend, doesn't know God, and usually lacks any real happiness apart from drinking.

My urge to pick him up and comfort him as though he was one of my own children was nearly overwhelming. I am sure he didn't pick up on this, because I am very good at not letting my emotions get the best of me. I simply wanted to tell him that everything would be OK and I would take care of it all and make the pain go away.

Being there with him, I was able to communicate with him fairly well and able to help take care of him for a little while. He asked me to look at his teeth and tell him exactly what I saw. He also asked me to care for some of his wounds, wiping up the secretions oozing from his face and the place on his chin where there were several stitches put in to hold the skin back on. I helped him get comfortable in bed and held an emesis basin while he spit, his secretions thick in his mouth from lack of drinking. Later my mom told me that he had not allowed her to touch him. This made me feel a little better that he knew he could trust me to care for him.

While I was there for 2 hours, 6 different care providers came to see him. Non of these providers where the doctors I really wanted to speak with and ask questions about his future surgeries and treatment plan. In fact, all of them seemed pretty non-essential. Every time my brother would doze off for a minute and have 1 really deep snore/breath, the door would open and someone else would come in to "ask a few questions".

If I may vent: The most annoying was the pharmaceutical guy. He came in to ask about medications. I thought he was there to talk about the medication they were giving him, or to set up a treatment plan to manage his pain (which he was still describing as a 7 on a 0-10 scale....pretty high if you ask me). Nope.

This guy just wanted to talk crap. "Are you allergic to anything?" (Sheesh, I hope they had already asked this, since he'd been admitted for over 12 hours by this point.) "Do you take any over the counter medications, supplements, herbs?" It was painful to watch my brother try and answer these. Just for him to say "Tylenol" and "ibuprofen" was very difficult. That was all the guy wanted to know. Oh, that and, "Do you use tabacco?" Yes, my brother shook his head. "Smoke?" Yes, another head shake. "Oh, well, in that case the CDC recommends that you receive a pneumococcal vaccine." Um, excuse me?? Wtf? Really?

At this point, I piped in. I told my brother I recommend he refuse. The "Pharmacy" guy asked why that was. So, I started asking questions of him. Does this have anything to do with his condition? What are the indications for the vaccine? Are they concerned he will be exposed to pneumonia during his stay?

The guy didn't have anything to tell me except "All smokers should receive this vaccine. The CDC recommends it." All smokers? I realize that smoking decreases your lung health and that it may make it harder for you to fight off an infection in your lungs. But seriously. He just got HIT BY A CAR. His face is smashed. He needs to heal. You want to introduce "35 different genetic codes of pneumococcal bacteria" (his words about what the virus contained) into his system when he is already compromised? Are you insane.

My brother declined the vaccine, even with the weird stares the guy was giving me.

He needs surgery to repair his jaw and plastic surgery to repair the bones in his face. They are concerned about his c-spine (cervical spine, neck bones). There is no fracture there, but lots of swelling and ligament tears. They refuse to remove his support collar to take the x-rays necessary to move forward with his jaw surgery. (Although, while I was there he was upgraded to a more comfortable collar and to put it on they had to remove the old one. I don't get it, even as a former EMT.)

It is possible he will have to wait 2 weeks for surgery. In the meantime, a PT (physical therapist) and OT (occupational therapist) have to determine whether or not he is able to go home and care for himself.

It is really very frustrating and I feel very much torn. I really, really want to be there for him. I am positive I could help at least with the understanding of his care for my mother and he. (Did that even make sense?) I feel torn b/c I want to take care of my family, and I want to be the rock for him too. It was humbling and very hard to leave the hospital today. My husband works the next 3 days and I may not be able to go there again, unless I can get someone who is willing to come into town with me and watch my kids. Also, my mom is scheduled to go on vacation next week and I am not sure that she would cancel to take care of him, if he needs it. I am more than willing to help, but I don't know if he will come to stay at my house.

Everything is kind of unknown right now. I thank God that he is alive, and that a bystander called 911 when the car that hit him drove off, leaving him unconscious in the street.

I also pray, reverently, that God will use this event to touch my brother's heart and bring him close to Him. The only love that is going to save my brother from the loneliness and sadness we've experienced is God's. For my brother to know that love, to just recognize that it *is* there, would be a true miracle.

Please, dear bloggy friends, pray for my brother's recovery. Not just from this accident, but from the emptiness, spiritual and emotional, he endures on a daily basis.

I love you, J.T. I know you're not reading this, but I will always be here for you. My heart aches for you to heal and know God's love and mercy.

Yes, I am still Pregnant

2010-08-16T17:37:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the lack of blogging. Really. I want to blog. I want to connect. (I even got tagged in a meme over at BWYA.) I am just soooo, um, crabby.

I don't know how good blogging will be when all I want to do is tell anyone who will listen how much this SUCKS. And I feel super guilty saying that, especially knowing all the mamas out there who have lost children to miscarriage and stillbirth, or who are unable to conceive at all.

I don't mean to sound as if I am not happy about the joy of new life, or that I don't enjoy and just absolutely LOVE having a new baby (because I do).

I am just a super obnoxious pregnant lady in the last month. I HATE it. I am crabby. My body is crampy. My legs hurt. My ass hurts. My crotch hurts. Ligaments pull. I can't sleep. I annoy my entire family. My breasts grow and itch. I can't find a single thing to wear that fits me. I am tired. I get constipated. Hemorrhoids = asteroids (much better word for them: location, location, location.....not to mention that asteroids explode into a firey hell when exposed to the atmosphere, not unlike hemorrhoids). It is next to impossible to get comfortable for more than 30 minutes at a time. Activities I enjoy with my husband (*clears throat*) are just too hard to accomplish (at least from my end.....men have it soooo easy). Seriously. I am just a sulky, b*tchy person.

Now that I have exposed you to the wretchedness that is me in this month, we will move on.

Hmmm? What shall we talk about? Knitting? Other bloggers? My kids? Pregnancy ailments, oh ya, already covered that. Ummm?

Knitting - I am having a hard time controlling the "cast on" urge. So far, so good. But it is seriously creeping up on me.

Bloggers - I found an interesting blog call "N*ked on the Roof" (Yes, he does spell it with the little asterisk, I am sure to deter people fishing for p0rn). It is by this guy that I think is an electrician (his username is morethananelectrician) and he is pretty funny. I am pretty sure he is married and has kids too. I haven't found any faith references. But so far, I am enjoying it. (I'd link to it, but the link is on my phone and I am just too lazy to look it up now or google it.)

My kids - The Wobbs just got back from a week vacationing with my family in PA. He had a great time. We missed him. It was certainly a different dynamic around here without him. Not good, or bad, better, or worse, just different. Today is his first day back. He's been here for about 4 hours and already the kids are all yelling at each other. Freakin' great. And Flower has been throwing up today. Awesome times two.

Homeschool - It is a lot of work, and sometimes annoying work, to help run a homeschool group. I think it will all work out in the end. We had an awesome "end of the year" campout at the other leader's house this weekend. Her family and mine (especially our husbands, bonus!) get along really well. So it did not bother us too much that not a lot of the other families were able to attend. Oh well. Better to hang with a few real people, real Catholics, with real flaws, than to have a house full of overbearing pious people (not that the other families are all like that, but there were some moms I was ok not seeing for the weekend).

Diapers - I need to get my diapers out and washed and ready to go. Any helpful hints out there about washing diapers with hard water? At our old house we had a really great water softener. My diapers always came out just right. I am a little concerned here about things like residue and smell. I hope it doesn't make too big of a difference, or that it is something that is easily remedied by adding something, like Borax or just more vinegar, to the wash. (Speaking of diapers, I need to order some Charlie's Soap for washing....finally ran out of the 5 gallon bucket I bought almost 4 years ago a few months back.)

Divorce - Seriously people. Watch who you marry. Dealing with my husband's ex-wife is enough to make me want to pull out my hair. This custody case is sucking royally (especially since we did this already, 8 years ago, to the tune of 14K). Figuring out placement sucks. And high school, with all it's sports and crap, also sucks. Did you know that practice for sports starts BEFORE the school year starts? And when you live 45 minutes away from the school and the practice lasts for 3 hours, you have nothing to do with your toddlers for 3 hours in a town where you don't live (parks would be ok, except that it's 2000 degrees of Hades outside with 300% humidity.....okay.....maybe I'm exaggerating, but you get it). And ex-wives just suck. Especially when they think the most important thing in their child's life is their "social life". Don't get divorced people!! God never intended for 2 families to have to share a child (or children).

Have I ranted enough for you? I am really sorry. I don't mean to be so dang crabby and complainy. It's all I got right now. I promise I will be a happy, cheery, wonderful bloggy friend once this baby exits my body. I have 5 weeks of technical time left. Maybe I'll go early again and only have to endure 3 weeks. I have been having a ton of contractions, sometimes all night long. I checked (because, well, I can) and I am dilated to 1 (too bad it's not more) and about 50% effaced. At least those contractions are doing something. :)

Not much to say....

2010-08-03T15:25:00.002-05:00

Not too much going on in my household right now, and not much to blog about.

I've got lots of ideas swimming around in my head, especially regarding Truth and Church teaching.

But I just don't have any energy to blog about it right now.

I think I may dye some diapers today.

I got 2 new knitting books in the mail this week (turn-around from the proceeds of selling some yarn on Ravelry): Knitting Around by Elizabeth Zimmermann and Learn-to-Knit Afghan Book by Barbara Walker.

I am suddenly realizing I only have 7 weeks left to get stuff ready for this baby. Not that there is a ton of "stuff" I need....just stuff to do. I need to lanolize all the wool, wash all the diapers, and figure out where I am going to set it up so that my 2 year old hurricane doesn't dispense them in an unrecognizable pile on the floor every 15 minutes.

I have some wool and some slings I'd like to sell, but it is hard for me to upload pictures to diaperswappers.com.......so I may just use a blog post on here to do that and then link to it at diaperswappers. Don't be alarmed if you see a post that just has pictures of things for sale and prices.

I am still reading all of your blogs, and trying to comment when my phone will let me. It gets obnoxious sometimes, and I just break down and come to the laptop to make comments.

My son is very happily mowing the lawn right now. It's nice when the kids start to get older and can (and want to, sometimes) help out. Woo hoo.

I have watched about 4 different Barbie movies this morning. Yikes. At least Barbie always makes the "right" decision.

Brain spill - two days in a row. Wow.

Random Sunday (Except that it's really Monday)

2010-08-02T00:35:00.002-05:00

~~First up, some cute pictures I can't help but share.

Love this one too. Oops! That is not exactly the one I wanted to load. Oh, well. Still nice one of the girl. He was brushing her hair. Cute.

~~I did it again. I started another project. See? Look down.

I am making longies out of that yarn. I know. I have no will power.

I did, however, finish the hat in just one day. And, I even worked a bunch of rows on the shawl. Really.

~~I hate knitting lace. I will finish it. But not start another one, probably ever.

~~I am still not sleeping well. I have been taking the iron supplement. My midwife says I probably won't notice a difference for a few weeks. I also finally found a chiropractor who takes our insurance (yes!) and is wonderful, and not too far away (only 1/2 hour). I can't wait to go see him again this week.

~~What ever happened to midwifery?? Am I still in "school"? Do I still study? Attend births?

Yes, I am still in school, technically. I go to a school that allows you to work at your own pace, therefore allowing "breaks". This pregnancy has been a big break, and not one I was expecting. All of my classroom/academic stuff is done already. I simply have clinicals to finish. I was about 50% done with those when I became pregnant (this time around....I also started out school when I was pregnant last time).

The midwife I work with is super understanding about me not being able to handle anything more than Just This Pregnancy. It helps that she is also my midwife. I plan to start seeing patients with her again once the baby is somewhere between 3-6 months old. We see patients 1-2 days a week for prenatals and I can bring my baby with. I can start getting the rest of my birth assists and primaries once my daughter is maybe 6-9 months old.....or older. We'll see what kind of baby I have. They are all different, and I am really not into leaving my baby. It depends on how far along labors are, if it's a first, second, or more baby for a mama, etc. Lots of factors go into me being able to go to a birth.

I will say I truly miss the work. I have been reading my textbooks late at night when I can't sleep. Dorky, I know. But I LOVE this stuff. I also started reading my favorite midwifery book of all time the other night, "Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent. I got this book before I became pregnant with my second child. It made me seek out a midwife for my next pregnancy/birth and cemented my desire to become a midwife. Reading it now really makes me miss attending births.....but I just can't. And I know there will be plenty of time for that later.

~~My husband's birthday was yesterday (ok, 2 days ago, as I write this Sunday night, but really it's 1 am Monday morning). We took the kids out to dinner at a super fancy smancy restaurant where the dinners are $35/plate. Chris and I have been there a few times in the past (read once or twice a year for the last few years). There is always sooooo much food that he and I ordered meals and just ordered salads for the kids (and 1 plate of french fries for the babies to share). We both split our meals with the kids and we still brought home leftovers. Our bill wasn't too high and the kids loved having such fancy food served to them. They thought the unending loaves of fresh baked bread that we had to cut ourselves was the best part.

~~I have a confession of sorts to make. Really, I just want to say something that isn't really bad, just bothering me.

I missed Mass about 6 weeks ago for no good reason at all. (I was tired and didn't feel like getting up, but I also didn't bother to go to a later Mass that day either.) I haven't missed any Masses except that one. But I also haven't managed to make it to Confession since I missed the Mass. This, of course, means I haven't received the Eucharist since then either. It really sucks to sit at Mass and NOT be able to go up and receive our Lord. Sucks big time. Especially when my husband keeps asking me why I am not going up. I keep telling him. He just thinks I am being stubborn. But I know that it is a grave sin to miss Mass and that I am not to receive Holy Communion until I go to Confession.

The problem is not that I don't want to go to Confession. It's that Confession is only on Saturdays. I never think about going until Sunday morning. I wish we lived in a time when there were enough priests that there was Confession before (and sometimes during) every Mass. That would be really awesome. I would probably go every single time I went to Mass, even if it was a weekday Mass.

What I probably need to do is simply get there early on Sunday and ask our priest if he would have time for a confession after Mass. Usually they are pretty accommodating when someone wants a confessor.

That's all I have for now. I hope you had a wonderful weekend.

I couldn't do it.....

2010-07-30T22:34:00.002-05:00

But I have a very good reason.

Exhibit A:

Yep. That doesn't look like my husband's sweater, or a shawl, or the pair of socks I need to finish.

I got bored knitting those things. Really. I was actually NOT knitting because I didn't feel like knitting those items and I knew I had 2 things in my mind that I really wanted to cast on. (The other is a pair of longies from that yarn I just dyed.)

This is a hat for the son of a friend of mine. She lives in the big city, so I don't see her much. But she is coming to visit next week with her little dude, so I figured I better start and finish this hat I promised to make for her. She has little overalls in her favorite team's colors for the little guy and wanted a hat to match. Voila.

It is actually almost done right now. That picture is from a few hours ago.

I know, I know. I said "nothing new" and "nothing not in my queue". What can I say? Knitters are fickle.

Duh!

2010-07-27T19:12:00.003-05:00

There is a reason why it is good to have a midwife looking after you even when you are a midwife.

I haven't been sleeping.

I feel tired all the time.

My legs are crampy.

I kick all night long.

I can't sit still.

I am crabby, irritable.

Hmmmm. If someone else came to me with these symptoms, I could probably guess what's going on and make some suggestions to them. But as a pregnant lady, it is impossible to diagnose yourself, or even to think about reasons why your life sucks right now (other than just "I'm pregnant").

I am so grateful to have a great midwife (with awesome assistants).

Why am I so tired, crabby, and restless?

Because - when we checked my iron today (not scheduled to do it, she just did it because of my symptoms) is was 9.5. For those of you who are not midwives, that is really friggin' low. (I've seen lower.....but still...it's not very good.) It causes all of those things that I mentioned up there.

So, I was immediately instructed to pick up some SSS Tonic , which I did, and begin taking it TODAY. It smells like @$$. I am sure it is going to taste horrible too. (I put it in the fridge. I hope that helps a little.) I have to take 3 tablespoons a day.

But I am excited. Looking forward to NOT being super tired, to sleeping, to not feeling like I am going to crawl out of my skin ALL THE TIME. Yeah for Iron!!

And, on a related but separate note, I have actually gained some weight. 1 lb to be exact. I now weigh 217. I started this pregnancy at 216. I dropped down to, I think, 205 a few months back. So technically, I have gained 12 lbs. since then. But really, it's only 1 lb. This is going to be awesome.

8 weeks left. I can do this for 8 weeks - especially if I can get a little rest.

Inspiration

2010-07-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

Go check out this awesome post by Ruth. (Okay, looks like I can't link a specific post. So just go to the blog. It's probably the first one.) She blogs at knittingbloggyblog. She knits for charity (also for herself and kids sometimes).

I have been watching her knit mittens, socks, sweaters, hats, etc. for this orphanage for the last few months, although it feels like years b/c when I found her blog I read through all her archives.

It is really neat to see pictures and hear the stories of the kids actually getting the knitted stuff. Like, when you put it in a box and send it somewhere someone who actually needs it and appreciates it is going to get it. Too cool.

I don't do any charity knitting. But I am thinking about it. Imagine knitting for someone who really would love to have something nice and warm to keep you snuggled in when the temps hit 40 degrees below 0 in the winter. It's inspiring.

You can check out the M4A (Mittens for Akkol) website here.

Another FO

2010-07-26T04:02:00.003-05:00

I finished the Possessed Socks. I am sooooo happy to have my own pair of woolly socks!! And I love the pattern sooooo much. I will definitely be knitting this pattern again. It goes really fast once you get to the foot, since that's where the "pattern" is. I love it. Did I say that already?

(The pic kind of sucks. But it's the middle of the night and there is no sunshine.)

These are done. I even frogged the toe of the first sock and reknit it. I wove the ends in. I am so proud of myself. I just need to block them...although I am not entirely sure that is necessary.

I also think my feet are narrower than my legs. I think I will test out my next pair of socks by knitting less stitches on the foot than the leg.....less by about 4-6 stitches.....and see if that makes the foot feel better.

So, that leaves only 3 WIP left (if you don't count the 2 baby sweaters that need buttons)(which I do, so I guess that's actually 5)(but 3 sounds nice, doesn't it?).

I have to finish the shawl I have been working on FOREVER, my husband's sweater (ugh!), and the cheap thrill socks. Those socks I think are going to get gifted. They are a little too big for me.

*sigh* Patting myself on the back.

Destruction

2010-07-25T05:00:00.000-05:00

(I figured out how to load more than 5 pics!!)

I made a pair of socks for Wobbers last year:

Aren't they pretty?? I took him to the LYS and let him pick out the yarn. He choose beautifully, Claudia's Handpainted Yarn in "Hawaiian". It was lovely to knit with. I found that I LOVE knitting socks. (See more details of this project here.)

Do you want to see what happens to $26 worth of 100% wool sock yarn, soft and lovely, when given to a 9 year old boy??

Ew. See the big hole there??

And all the little holes??

The kid completely destroyed them. He asked me if I would "fix" them. Um, maybe if it was just one little hole I could figure out how to darn it. But this is really beyond fixing. I have a small amount of this yarn left and I'd rather make something new out of it than fix these socks only to have them ripped to shreds again.

I am not even going to take pictures of the other sock. It's just that bad.

I do not blame the boy. He is just a boy and wore the socks as boys do. I blame myself. From now on, he only gets socks with Nylon in them. And not expensive, handpainted yarn. Or I will at least by some sock nylon to run with the working yarn. Ei-yi-yi. These poor socks. Not to mention how worn the colors look now.

He still wears them. They still keep him warm. He just wears them around the house.

Had to share.

One of Those Nights

2010-07-24T22:45:00.002-05:00

My children are driving me crazy.

My belly aches. It's heavy. And my ligaments are all being pulled. I feel sore.

I have to pee every 5 minutes. And it's only like a tablespoon. Annoying.

Right now my 2 toddlers are wrestling/arguing over some toy car on the floor in their room. I am completely unmotivated to stop it. She won't let go of his truck, and he won't let go of her.

The dog seems very relaxed. He is laying on the couch. Just kind of grrrred to himself, probably from the noise of the kids.

Just yelled at the Flower to give him the truck and come here.

It didn't work.

Big kid and Dad are playing some racing video game downstairs. It sounds like a big fan is swirling around the house.

Wow, I have never seen the toddlers so angry.

What's it going to be like when I have another??

She finally listened and came here. I told her to play with the stroller and her babies.

What are my kids doing up this late, you ask? Oh, I haven't told you yet?

I don't sleep when I am pregnant. Therefore, my kids don't sleep well either. As much as I try to put them to bed earlier than myself (at a regular time), they just fall into my pattern and stay up with me. They do eventually go to sleep, usually a few hours before me. The bonus of them going to bed at 12 is that they sleep till 11. So if I don't fall asleep until 4 or 6 (or later lots of mornings) I at least get to sleep till 10 or 11 every morning. Not so great when I fall asleep at 7, but at least everybody else is asleep.

Now Lovey has his truck and Flower is crying. Gotta run.

Sorry for the dump. Just had to tell someone. Sometimes it sucks. It will not always be like this, I know. But right now......*sigh*.

(And now she's happy again. Hug from Dad fixes it all.) :)

Almost Sidetracked

2010-07-24T13:53:00.002-05:00

My resolve to finish WIP and then jump into my queue was almost completely ambushed last night.

When I couldn't sleep at 1 am, I got up and decided to "read" one of my newly acquired knitting books:

My mom actually picked up this book for me via PBS auction on TV. It's even a signed copy (I'm not sure why that matters).

I have skimmed this before. But, with restlessness all consuming last night, I read the entire "Techniques" chapter and perused all the patterns.

The techniques are actually very informative, especially for embroidery techniques for knitted objects. I found a new way to make a "spot" or "dot" on knitted fabric and got a good idea about adding appliques, etc, to knitting work.

I got a little hung up on some of the patterns. I especially like all of the "Sock Yarn Toys" chapter patterns.

I have a bag of sock yarn scraps I scored on Ravelry and was almost tempted to cast some on!! I really LOVE the "New Sock Monkey", "Baby Bear", and "Curly Snake" (all rav links, can't get a good picture off the net).

I also love the Baby Doll Set and Matryoshka Dolls (Russian Nesting Dolls).

But, I am strong. I can avoid the temptation. I can try hard not to think about the cute little toys that will knit up fast and use up leftover yarn. I have knit one of her patterns before and they are well written and fun to knit.

As I read the book last night, I worked on my Possessed Sock. The heel flap is done and heel turned. I picked up gusset stitches today.

Progress. Not sidetracked. (but what great projects to get sidetracked with!!)

Big Kids' Shirts

2010-07-22T15:42:00.002-05:00

I also dyed some shirts for the big kids. Flower, when I asked her what colors she wanted said, "Pink." Anything else baby girl? "No. Just Pink." Okay.

Wobbers did his own. Turquoise, Fuscia, Green, and Purple. Never mind those marks on his face. He and his dad got into a marker fight and apparently Wobbs lost.

Lovey is wearing his shirt too.